The Rediscovery Resolution

September 25, 2013. That was the date of my last blog entry. Oh, dear..... But, here I am on New Year's Eve, typing away to make up for all the lost time. What a busy few months it has been. Still catching my breath, I sit here thinking about what 2014 holds for me. I'm quite optimistic.

To sum up our year: Fast. There was so much "stuff" that happened in the past year, yet it is hard to think that it all happened in a year. Most of it seems like it happened within the last month - But, that could be because the holidays are always a busy time of year for us.

Katie turned 15 in March, and, although she wasn't quick to run to the DMV to get her driver's permit, she finally passed her test on Friday, December 13th. She's thrilled, as are we. But, I can't say that I'm thankful to be teaching her to drive. The one time I've driven with her so far I was so nervous I grabbed the wheel in fear that she was heading for a ditch. Yeah.....Dad's a better teacher, for sure!! Halloween got here so fast that our kids nearly didn't have the costumes they wanted. Thank goodness for a little last minute luck, as well as a dry, fairly warm evening....Not something that we're used to having! Thanksgiving came and went in a blur. Christmas screamed up on us, and has since passed into calendar oblivion. The Christmas decorations are already down, it's 50 degrees outside, and, although I have no plans to go out tonight to ring in the New Year I am dressed in what my husband would consider "date night" attire....I just went to town, but I looked good doing it!! Truth be told, one of my new "goals" that I've decided to enforce upon myself before the new year is dressing better. This frumpy mama was beginning to wear sweats and t-shirts around the house, and I caught it myself....So, I'm fixing it myself as well.

2013 brought forth some great events, as well as some unfortunate realities. Most of my disappointments this year came from adults. As it should be....But, not in the ways that I thought I would find disappointment. So, my list of resolutions are not your generic "lose weight, be nicer, be a better mom" kind of crap that seems to be a common thing on every one's lists year after year. This year, they're different....But, all based upon my #1 resolution.

Resolution #5. Spend less time on Facebook. Much of my disappointment this year came from others' posts on Facebook, and in many cases others blatant disrespect to all the others reading their posts was nearly appalling. In less than a year, I read posts about how horrible or fat people thought their children either were, or looked in pictures. I saw constant complaints about all the things that some didn't have - Sometimes those people actually criticized others for what they did have. I saw people forcing their ideals and preferences in my face, sometimes without having a factual basis for their posts. (Get the facts to back up your accusations, folks.) So, less time on Facebook for me.....Cause' I just can't deal with the nonsense and drama that people can't help themselves to, and my kids need me more than the majority of the "friends" on Facebook who probably haven't seen me in over a decade and don't really care what I'm doing from one day to the next! Yeah, there might be a burnout in it's beginning stages here.

Resolution #4. Get outside. It could be exercise, it could be gardening, or just sitting while the kids run. There's no reason that I shouldn't get outside for a little more vitamin D......Natural happiness!

Resolution #3. Speak up. Now, this is a broad resolution, because this means everything from calling BS, to voicing my opinion. If I see or hear something that leaves me with questions, I'm going to ask them.  Over the past few years I have become the person who keeps quiet and leaves well enough alone. This has, sometimes, caused turmoil in my heart, which is unhealthy. How are we, grown, responsible adults, supposed to teach our children the best ways to succeed if we can't overcome our insatiable need to get further by cheating, or throwing aside moral values? I see it SO often, and it's disheartening. Be respectful, friends. Be teachers. Be leaders. Be honest. Our future (literally) depends on us.

Resolution #2. Document a little more. I hope to blog a more than 5 times a year, take more pictures, write down memories faster and cherish the little moments more often. Time moves at the speed of life, and it's faster than I can keep up with. So, hopefully the digital age will help me along this year in gathering pieces to my life puzzle.

Resolution #1. Rediscover myself. This, too, is a broad resolution. Everything from dressing better, finding my place in life to everything I've listed above is a part of figuring out who I am. See, I thought I knew who I was. Secure in my life, a marriage, children a job and a home. Six and a half years ago I became a stay at home mom and, although I LOVE being here and available to my kids, I've lost quite a bit of who I was. Not to say that the person I am now isn't better, but, for the moment, I feel a little lost. So, I want to find my balance. Hopefully this year I will figure out what that balance is, somehow working toward contributing to bettering not just me, but others. I don't know where I will end up, but later this year will mark the end of the daycare time for me. My babies will all be in school full time, and, although staying at home....a quiet home....sounds REALLY nice, I like to make a difference and am unsure if I can do that from home. My greatest time was with Providence. They took care of me, and I loved what I did there. I hope to return there, but we'll see! I am excited to see what opportunities arise for me this year. It's a big year, and by the end of 2014 I hope to "report" back with a years worth of fantastic changes for us all.

So, here's to all of us rediscovering who we are, making the best of the cards we're dealt and cherishing what we have. 

I think it's gonna be a good year! 

AKEMASHITE OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU!!

(Happy New Year!!)

I Didn't Move the Mountain.......The Mountain Moved Me

It's amazing how much things can change as we age. Whether it be from a significant event occurring to change your mind about something, or just age and experience allowing for a better managed opinion, everything seems to change. But, really, it's us that changes....not everything else!

Corey and I were laying in bed reading a couple weeks ago, and he came across an article discussing things that would make you (us) feel old. The first item up? Marty McFly went "Back to the future" in 1985 to 1955. In two years, if we went back the same amount of time, we'd be in the same year that Marty McFly was in his real time....1985. Yeah, 1985 was 28 years ago. Holy cow.

Also, for you Friends fans out there: Chandler and Monica's twins would be 9 this year, Phoebe's triplets would be 14, Ben (Ross and Carol's son) would be 18 and Emma (Ross and Rachel's daughter) would be 11. Doesn't quite seem possible.

All this talk about perspectives, age and time probably has something to do with the fact that I'm about to turn 35. Now, that's not an age that is really bothering me much. But, as I was on the phone with my grandma a few days ago, she said something that resulted in me reminding her that I'll be 40 in 5 years. Forty! And, then I began to cry....I'm not even there yet, and something about saying it made me pretty darn upset. I have a plethora of reasons as to why I could be upset with it, but they're all silly and selfish really.

I sat on the deck last Thursday night, my son was in the bathtub, my husband was close by him listening to a football game, Katie was doing chores and the twins were getting out their last bit of energy on the playground. I closed my eyes and momentarily drifted into deep thought about my life and certain meanings in things. Although sad, the first thing that crossed my mind was my sister. Well, Mt. Bachelor actually. In our youth, our grandparents would take my sister and me to Bachelor for weekend snowmobiling trips. We'd speed up the trails toward the mountain, often going so fast that our grandparents would lose sight of us completely. We loved it up there...the beauty, the serenity, and the wide open spaces. Snowmobiling on the mountain was also where and when the infamous family song "Grandma got run over by a snowmobile" was first brought to life. I love those memories. But, sitting right there in the front of my mind, despite what those memories are, remains the fact that Mt. Bachelor became the final resting place for my sister in 2010. (For the story, see my August 2010 blog post) I still see Bachelor as a skiing, snowboarding and snowmobiling resort. But, along with a little catch of my breath,  the first thing that comes to mind when I hear "Mt. Bachelor" is Bobbie.....And that likely won't change.

With each year that passes since her death, the death itself becomes less of an impact, and the memories of the life we shared are brought to life in such grand light that I often forget all the hard times she endured. Is that maturity? Or, is that part of the grieving process? Either way, I have found myself seeing things so differently as I age, and that wild, over-dramatic spunky person I once was is long gone. Just ask my kids. In fact, when Corey recently asked the kids what I wanted for my birthday, two of them said a Bulldog or a pug (yes, I love them and can't wait to have one......When my kids are grown and there are no dog allergies in the house), one of them said a down pillow, and the other one said a wheelchair. Can you guess which one said wheelchair? Haha.

So, for my birthday I don't wish for frivolous objects. I wish for healthy kids, a happy family and some good cheer to come my way. I guess I really am an adult now.

Building an Incredible You

For my high schooler........

There is a whole world out there. Enjoy it. Your ipod, your phone, your laptop, and your kindle will all be waiting if you decided to take a walk through the orchard, go swimming or do something productive, like chores.

Your phone is a privilege. As is your car. If you don't do things to ensure that you are "earning" them, they will be removed. (good grades, keeping up with chores, paying your share, etc..)  If you abuse the privileges you have been given, they will removed. If these items are essential to you, you need to remember just how quickly they can be taken away. A simple lesson in give and take. Mother and father will giveth today, but wrong us tomorrow, we'll taketh away.

We understand that you might be interested in "dating".  Meet em', get to know em', and bring em' to us. Don't get to know them by text messaging.....That isn't real, and you can't expect to really "know" someone by what they text you. PS - Our home phone works just fine, if you forgot.

Studying and homework are SO important. If you get invited somewhere with friends, but you know you have school work, please make the right choice. Your future depends on how hard you continue to work through high school.

Don't judge a book by it's cover - In other words, know someone before you make a character judgment on them. Your worst enemy could one day be your best friend.

Get involved! Join a group, whether it be sports or a club or something else, that encourages teamwork, and allows you to build new friendships.

Listen. Listen to what is happening around you. Listen to what people say. Listen to HOW they say it. Listen to something other than your ipod.

Find your passion. This kind of goes along with getting involved, too. It might be in a club, or a theater group, or a music group. But, find something that YOU love to do and put your heart and soul into it!

Remember you are a big sister. Your younger siblings look up to you, believe it or not. They see you as this older, beautiful person they someday want to be. What you teach them, what you show them, is imprinted in their minds, and that's what they'll keep with them. Remember this if you're thinking about saying or doing something that may be inappropriate.

Communication is key. Express your feelings, talk about current events, and ask questions when you have them....Pretty simple, actually.

Follow the Golden Rule. If you don't know it by now, you haven't be listening to me for the past 15 years. (see "Listen" above)

Be YOU. Don't let others dictate how you act, what you say or what you think.

Use good judgment. You are at the age where everything could go awry with one little misstep. Analyze the situations you get in to, think about the repercussions for actions that you are deliberating, and think about how you, or anyone else for that matter, could be affected by words you say and things you do.

And finally, have fun. All these little "pieces of advice" that I've left for you here are just little ways to help you along the way of having a great time in high school. It is hard work, but if you're working, playing, singing, recording, writing, painting or hanging out with friends, the combination of it all will make some pretty incredible memories for you.

Have faith that we, your parents, know what's in your best interest. We've been there!! We've done this before, and we know how to make it easier this go-round. Just three more years, and you're off to college. THESE are the years that will build an incredible YOU............

Still Learning........

It has been almost 6 years since I decided to become a stay at home mom..... I was actually pretty sure this was what I wanted while pregnant with Cooper, but we weren't sure that it was possible. This time 6 years ago I was back at work full time wishing I was at home with my beautiful baby boy. A couple of months later, with a hectic rush to find childcare, it was decided that it was just too much, and I would stay home. It's been quite a ride so far. In my efforts to teach my kids a thing or two, I've also learned things myself. I have grown up SO much in the past 6 years. Although I considered myself a pretty responsible adult before Cooper was born, I'm at a place now that I wasn't before then.

Here are some things that I've learned that, although sometimes tough, made me a stronger person:

Housecleaning is overrated. It only gets noticed when you haven't done it. Or when it's done really, really well - You know, the kind of cleaning you do before you're having a large number of guests over. The kind that your kids point out to the guests as they arrive. "My mom cleaned ALL morning"!!

Privacy is not in a young child's vocabulary. The bedroom, the bathroom, or even the back porch is not a possible option when looking for some solitude when you have children. They don't understand that, if I'm on the pot, they should probably leave me alone for a few minutes. Or, if I'm in the shower, I can't break up a fight! Work it out, children! Work. It. Out.

Our bed is apparently thought to be the midnight gathering place for the kids. We have a king size bed, so it's quite large...But, add in children and it feels like a twin bed really fast!!

Friendships are a funny thing. When you have kids, those who are your real friends will stick around, make play dates, schedule friendly gatherings or come and visit. But those who aren't become "fake" friends. They stay cordial, when they see you, but in secret are constantly hoping that you don't ask them to come somewhere where your kids will be present. I have had a few of these, and I've always wondered how they'd handle parenthood if it ever came their way!!

The way I think I look and the way I actually look, when my children are in tow, are two totally different things. Most of the time I'm probably tired, haggard and maybe even dressed a little frumpy. But if I feel good, and, actually slept the previous night I usually think I look like a Rock Star....I guess that's all that counts. But, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if the hosts of "What not to wear" made a surprise appearance at my front door one day......"You've had this for HOW long"?......

I am completely unaffected by my own children's snot. Everyone else's children's snot will make me gag.....or worse!

High Blood Pressure is very real. Contributing factors include; Being chubby, genes, fights with my teenage daughter, calming a four year old's scream-fest in WalMart, or playing a video game with my perfectionist son.

If you have young children who you allow to explore outside, you will find strange animals in your home on occasion. Frogs, grasshoppers, unrealistically large black beetles, dead flies, and even extremely large slugs have made their way into my house. If I catch them before they get the animals in here, I redirect them right back to the yard they found it in. Ugh...heebie jeebies!!

Pedicures are a must. If you haven't ever had one, quit worrying about a stranger touching your feet........It's what they do! You'll be SO happy you did. And once you go spa, you'll know how to get your "ahhhhhh".

No matter what it is, if I buy food with the intent of using it for a specific reason, I need to hide it, label it, or do a Vanna White showing with a descriptive explanation as to what it's intended uses will be. Otherwise, without question, it will get eaten. Hummus....Yeah, that'll go. Pepperoni for the pizzas I'm making at the end of the week? OH, what perfect snackers!

Kids know stuff. They know when you're having a bad day, even when you do your best not to show it. They know when you're driving too fast. They know when you're hurt and when you don't feel well. What they don't know is that if you have a phone next to your ear you're on the phone. I still don't get that one.

Date night. Simply put, if you have children, or even if you don't, you need a night out occasionally. Eat and have a drink in peace. It's OKAY and it's likely well deserved. EVERY PARENT NEEDS A BREAK! It doesn't mean you're a bad parent for wanting a break...It means you're human.

HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. There is no question that some days will be harder than others. The thing that matters is how I get through those days. Laugh it off! Play around.....Take a picture! And know that even if a bowl of spaghetti gets on your light colored carpet, shit happens.

Don't let others bring you down. You will get judged by a number of different people who do things very differently than you. But, unless you're REALLY messing up, I mean, putting yourself or your family through the ringer, take each criticism with a grain of salt. Nobody's perfect, and your criticizers are probably the least qualified people to give you advice on how to raise your kids, clean your house, etc.....

It's okay to have a bad day.....it's a natural thing! As long as you don't take it out on your kids. Your husband can handle it, though....And, you know he's close to perfect if, when you're having a bad day, he brings you your favorite coffee.

Accept help when offered. Nobody expects to go through rough patches, but everyone does. Whether it be along the lines of housecleaning, laundry, emotions, childcare or finances, at some point, you have to be willing to give in to the offers and let someone help you out.. If they're offering at all, they see something that you might not be able to, or are unwilling to accept. However, if they're offering unsolicited advice on HOW to do something, that's a different story......

And finally, I have a husband. Sometimes amid the daily grind - In my case, kids, kids, kids and more kids, I forget about the needs of the man in my life. When I pass him heading home on MY way to town, I'm fairly certain that he thinks I'm trying to avoid him. That isn't the case - It's when I can go! But, this is why date night is so important.  


Every day is a learning experience. Life happens. And, unless we learn to just go with it, it's gonna kick our butts. Remember who you were, who you are, and who you want to be.

I'm a Glee fan, and this was so sad

I'm all too familiar with the signs of heroin abuse. Not because I ever used drugs, but, because as a young child, I saw the effects it had on my parents. I could never completely understand the struggle.  I remember always asking myself "Why couldn't they stop"?  "Why DIDN'T they stop"? "Don't they realize that they're bad"?  But, as I got older, my understanding of addiction became a little clearer. It isn't something that is easy to control. It isn't something that people want. It certainly isn't something that people need. The desire, the need to have whatever feeling is created by the drugs pulsing through their veins overwhelms every ounce of them. And, as we've recently discovered, some hide that addiction well.....

I'm a die hard Glee fan. "Gleek," I guess, is the Hollywood term for that. From the beginning, I've found myself enthralled with the idea of a really good Glee Club, probably because, in my high school days, I lived for music. Finding out about the death of Cory Monteith, Glee's reigning heartthrob, was like a punch to the gut. Not only did the world lose someone SO relevant in the entertainment world, this young life was lost because the almighty drug won the battle. Unfortunately, this is nothing new in Hollywood. A-listers from all walks of life have gone down this forsaken path into the depths of drugs, so buried in their own intoxication that they can't enjoy the lives they've been given. Quite sad.

Now, I know that there have been several deaths of relevant performers in my time, but, it's different when you have to explain to your kids why one of their favorite TV actors has died. I was sitting on the couch, scouring the world news at midnight on Saturday when I came across the first press release about his death. I gasped and started to cry. Honestly, it just took my breath away. My first instinct? Drugs. I mean, hardly ever anymore do young actors die when there hasn't been drugs involved. But, I knew because of recent interviews as well as a recent stint in a SoCal rehab center that he had publicly struggled with his addiction. I didn't tell Katie the next morning, because I just didn't even want to talk about it. But, when she came home from work, I told her. She was about as shocked as I was. No tears, though. Just utter confusion. "Why?", she asked. I didn't want to tell her my assumption, but, she asked if that was it. The coroner confirmed Tuesday that it was in fact, heroin. Disappointment with an understanding sadness came across both me and Katie, and the mother in me was reeling from the fact that, from here on out, my child will be subjected to seeing famous people take the wrong path a lot more than she realizes.....A lot more than I hope. Still, this was so sad.

Ugh.......

If you haven't ever seen it's chaos firsthand, consider yourself lucky. The pain and suffering caused by drugs is so profound and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's a demon, and, for some, impossible to control, impossible to deny.

Here's to hoping that Glee can move on and continue to be the outstanding show that it is, helping people learn who they are, helping people to accept who they are, and helping to teach people that dreams can come true, even in the most trying of times.

Let's Talk About That Later!

Summer is in full swing. The kids are getting tan while spending their days outside playing, exploring and hunting (frogs and bugs, that is!). The swimming pool is up and we've spent many a day out there cooling off in this Summer heat. Although the kids don't know how to swim, yet, we're working with them to teach them some basics. They are all doing so well, and, I'm glad we have this pool....even if the upkeep is tedious!!

So, at the ages of 4 and 6, we are now working on refining our manners. Instead of saying "I want this" or "I want that," we are learning to phrase things that are respectful and appropriate. "May I please have a cookie?" sounds so much better than "I want a cookie". Mackenzie seems to think that I should be able to read her mind. Out of the blue, on many occasions, she'll come up to me, and, in an angered voice say, "I SAID I wanted a drink of water!!" She never did say such a thing, and when you argue with her she says "But, I DID say it...yesterday!!" Okay, and she probably got water yesterday, too. She's kind of a little pit, sometimes, but, when she's doing things right, and saying things nicely, she does them really, really well. So, I just encourage nicer words. We're getting there! 

As with any child, we're also learning the do's and don'ts of burps and farts. This came about recently when the children just weren't paying attention anymore and were farting at the dinner table, or belching in public...basically, making bodily noises at times when they shouldn't be. After one night of a child's SBD, (silent but deadly), I couldn't take it anymore. My new rule was that, if ever anyone, adults included, needed to pass gas when we were sitting at the table, they needed to remove themselves from the table and go into another room. I'm fairly certain that my children have taken this as a joke. Every night, like clockwork, we sit down and 10 minutes in, one yells out they have to fart, and runs from the table to another room. Then, the next child. And, the next. Here we are at dinner time and I've got kids scrambling around the house trying to find an empty room to fart in. Rayla didn't really get it, and ran to the kitchen. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because, for the longest time, all I wanted was my kids to sit still at the table and eat with no distractions. They had it down!! Yet, here we are. 

In recent weeks those curious body questions have begun to come out of the wood works from Cooper. A couple weeks ago he said to me "Mom, I know that babies come out of your tummy because you have to have your tummy cut, but how do babies get in there"? I didn't argue the c-section thing, because that's all he knows, and for now, all he needs to know. When it came to the latter part of that question I stammered for a bit before saying "Let's talk about that later"! Normally, we're pretty open with the kids when they ask questions, but he's not ready for that. Heck, I'M not ready for that. But, I suppose it's better that it come from me in a simple manner rather than in a classroom taught by someone who is not filtered. (There was an incident in our little town recently where a teacher allegedly went in to graphic detail about sexual situations with 4th graders.....graphic enough for the school district to invite parents to a meeting to express their concerns). So, back to us...... In short, I haven't told him how babies get there and I'm not going to for a while. At 6 that could mentally traumatize him and he would no longer see mom and dad in the same way again. I'd miss that!! 

Last week, after a couple of hours playing in the pool, the kids noticed that their toes and fingers had become "pruny" just like they do during bath time. They asked why, and we explained that when your skin is wet for a while, it gets soft and wrinkly...but soon it dries and your skin is smooth and soft again. End of conversation? No. So later that night while I was putting Cooper to bed he sits up and asks "Mom, why are my balls always pruny"? Shocked, I had to turn my face and hold my laugh, because it was obvious he was quite serious. I said "Well, son, that's just the way they are."
Cooper: "But, they're always like that, even if I haven't been in the water, and you said that skin gets pruny when it gets wet!"
Me: "Balls are different son. It's stays that way to keep them protected." 
Cooper: "Are Kenzie and Rayla's balls pruny, too?
Me: "They don't have balls, son. They have a vagina. They don't have a penis, either."
Cooper: "THEY DON'T?" "What about you and dad....Do you guys have balls?"
Me: "I'm a girl, so I don't have balls. But, yes, you dad does....all boys and men do!"
Cooper: "Are they pruny just like mine!?!?!"

At this point I shook my head,  laughed and told him he needed to go to sleep. In all the conversations that I imagined having with my son, this was not one of them. But at least he knows I don't have balls.....At least, not in a physical way! 

When is the right time to tell your kids about this stuff? I remember having this question when I contemplated telling Katie a few years back. I'm glad I told her what I did when I did, because the stuff she could access today could easily cloud judgment of what is right and wrong. In the meantime, I'll just continue to teach manners, body parts and, in time, functions. 

Oh, boy. 

You Get What You Get And You Don't Throw A Fit!!

Doing childcare in my home is not something that I'm going to do forever. I love kids, don't get me wrong. But, for now, so that I can be home with my children and still make a little money, child caring is how I spend my days, and I'm really blessed to have a group of absolutely wonderful kids. At the present time I have all three of my younger children, a sibling set ages 4 and 5, and a 1 year old. That's 6 children between 1 and 6. That's a lot of kids!! But, when it comes down to it, once you've had as many kids as I've had, another two, or three, is nothing. Sure, they all keep me busy, but, they keep each other busy, too. which allows time for me to do laundry, etc....

One of the most challenging things I have had to deal with is the feeding aspect of the childcare. My children are not real picky eaters, but, occasionally they decided they don't like something. Some days they like pickles, and the one day I put it on their plate without them asking for it is the day they don't like it. Rayla appears to be allergic to more and more things....For the past two days Rayla has developed an itchy throat while eating cinnamon toast crunch, her favorite cereal. Anyways, too much dairy for her and her tummy hurts and she gets gassy. (Isn't that lactose intolerance?) She only drinks almond milk, and I've changed her to Greek yogurt because she can still handle that for some reason. Lots of fruit, as many vegetables as I can convince her to eat, and meat...the kid loves meat. In fact, all of my children love meat. One of the children that I care for will not eat meat. Her family does not practice a vegan lifestyle, and they don't know where this particular preference came from, but she just doesn't seem to like meat. ANY meat. She won't even try it! At first, I was frustrated because I wanted to make sure that she was eating something for lunch, so I made her something special for each meal. After addressing this concern after the first week with their mother, she explained that, because of her daughter's unusual eating habits that sometimes she just went hungry. They have a motto at their house that they go by: "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I like it. At first I tried to cater to her needs, but I was making stuff, like cold butter and cheese sandwiches, at her request, that ended up nothing like her grandma, mother, father or grandpa made it. So, then I tried it........... You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And IT WORKS! She usually eats now, or at least tries something. Or, if I make something like mac and cheese with hot dogs, I just leave the dogs off her plate. You'd think that it would have been that simple for me in the beginning. But, everything is a learning process when it comes to children. There is never a rhyme or reason for their thoughts or their actions, and it's my job, both as a parent and a caregiver, to help them understand how to harness their desires and help them understand that this is not a restaurant....our new motto, although borrowed, is such a simple thing. And, I love that my own kids understand it, too! We've had less special requests from my own kids since instilling this new motto, and that makes meal prep a breeze for me!

Katie is working now. I worried that she wouldn't fit in (functionally, that is) because she's never done anything along the lines of hard, repetitive labor for long hours. But, it appears she is doing just fine! She's working on the cherry line this year for the family farm. She gets to do box prep and sorting of the cherries, something she's never done before! And, since most of the people who are working the line speak little English, she's getting immersed in Spanish, which is the best way to learn it!! She arrived home yesterday hot, sweaty, but really content with a full day's work. As a mother who knows that hard work pays off in more ways than one, I was so proud. But, even more so, I was happy that she was happy about going back today. But, I think we need to get a better morning schedule going. She needs to be able to make her own lunch to take and not depend on mom to get her ready for work! I gave her two days......she gets tomorrow! Hopefully, she gets up early enough to get that lunch ready, and that she likes it enough that she actually eats it, or she'll be one hungry girl!! (Whether you agree or not, I think this makes me a good mom....instilling good responsibility in my child, that is!)

So whether they are small and innocent, or grown and heading into the world, getting fed is still an important part of what I oversee. And, that new motto I've hijacked is about perfect for my family as it could be. I make it you eat it......or you don't!!

One Long Weekend

As if I haven't learned this time and time again when it comes to the sun, spray, apply, repeat....You'd think that after watching over my children and making sure they are buttered up continuously with sunblock that I'd take the time to keep an eye on myself. Nope. So, while reconstructing our yard this yesterday, I completely forgot the task of reapplying the lotion after the first application on me. Fast forward several hours later, with nearly all that time spent in direct sun, and my back and shoulders look as though I've been spray painted red. It's sore, but, surprisingly not bad. Days like these make me wish I could just go bra-less. Not possible with the goods I've been given...But, the idea is nice!

Our weekend was long and eventful. It began Thursday night with a family dinner to kickoff a celebratory weekend for some elder Yasui's who had passed on in recent years out of state, but wanted to have a final resting place in Hood River. It appears that there was a little bit of a misunderstanding on my part about the events, however...and I wasn't the only one! It was our (immediate family here) thought that Friday morning was going to be a gathering at the park for a fun time with the families that traveled from afar to attend the gatherings. It was at a park, and I was informed that there would be music, singing, etc...... What I didn't know  was that it was an actual memorial service and that eulogies were to be delivered and memories of the deceased were to be shared....oh, boy! Well, trying to get my kids to sit through a memorial service is like telling them to go to sleep on a roller coaster. They were restless, anxious and slightly confused at all the people talking and crying. No surprise there. But, so that I could enjoy it, what does this mother do? I give my son my phone so that he can play angry birds. I made sure that the volume was down so as not to disturb the ceremony taking place. Two minutes in to him playing, silently I might add, the phone begins to blare this rock music with screeching birds. OH. MY. LORD!!! My face surely lost all color, as did my son's. I grabbed it from him and fumbled to shut it down as quickly as I could. How could this happen??!! I was sure I had turned the volume down! As I painfully discovered that day there is a volume control for media activities within the actual phone volume, and it was turned up to the max. I SHOULD have known this, but, the phone is still fairly new, and I don't play a lot of games on it! Needless to say, the morning did not go as I had expected.

Fast forward through the rest of the weekend and it was a wonderful time with family, young and old....and the memories shared (and made) were beautiful.

On Saturday, when the gatherings had quieted, Corey and I decided to take the kids fishing. Cooper went a couple of years ago, but the girls have never gone. We went to a little reservoir up toward one of the local lakes. Beautiful, warm evening..it was perfect. It took the children a while to "get in to" the whole fishing thing. There were flies to be chased, birds to be watched and rocks to be thrown. But, when Rayla's pole began to wiggle a little, she dove in like pro! She reeled and reeled as hard as she could, fishing line bouncing and all, to catch her first fish....all by herself! She was so proud of herself, and we, and the the other kids were proud of her, too! She had no fear...she grabbed that trout when it came to shore and proudly showed off her trophy catch. All 11 inches of it! She was the only successful catcher that day. We brought him home and the kids watched while Corey cleaned it. I wasn't sure how they'd handle it and wondered if they'd be traumatized by the removal of a fish head. Not my kids. They watched with an intensity that I have never seen before, especially Rayla. She wanted to be part of every step of what was to be done with her fish. We decided we would cook it yesterday at dinner time for her to eat if she liked. I cooked it and plated it special just for her. She was ready to eat it.....She took a bite, smiled and said "Best fish EVER!!" Then, she offered up the rest to her siblings!! It wasn't that good, but I don't think it was because of the cook. Still, despite not liking how it tasted, they all are ready to gear up and head out to do some more fishing. This makes their daddy a pretty happy man!

It's Monday and though life has returned to normal again, the hectic bustle of the children in the morning is heavenly, and the routine is back on for the day. Only two more days, actually....the kids are out of school on Wednesday and the Summer Vacation begins!!......For them, at least!!

I Didn't Hear You Right

Father's day is coming up, or so I've been told....a time or two. I still struggle with the yearly battle of what to get my husband for Father's Day. I struggle with every other holiday, too, to be honest. More often than not, he will tell me what he wants, then, either before I've had a chance to save up and get him what he wants, or after I've already purchased it, Corey gets that itch that won't go away and ends up getting it himself. I can't even count on one hand how many times that has happened. Or, and I love this one, we'll have a conversation about something and I get a "hint" of something that he might like and stash it in my memory bank for future holidays. Somehow, I usually get the hints wrong. For instance, for his birthday, I purchased him a mandolin. I bought it months ahead of his birthday with pride, thinking that he'd think this was such a cool gift. I could have sworn that sometime in the past year we had discussed different instruments that he'd like, and a mandolin was one of them. Well, he opened it up and said "Huh. A mandolin. I've never even thought about one of these! Where'd you get that idea, Cara?" Haha....Funny. Really, really funny.  Well, it was funny....apparently that conversation we had included some electric guitar that I still couldn't identify if my life depended on it and MAYBE a banjo....but, maybe not even that!! Oh, silly me. Well, although he said that he would be happy to learn to play it, I told him that I would promptly return it and he could pick out whatever he wanted to whether it be an instrument or just money put into the savings pot for his dream golf clubs. It turns out that I didn't read the small print from the site I ordered it from. NO RETURNS. Well, shit. Fortunately, I'm a Facebook junkie and I'm associated with a page on there for a local "online yard sale". It sold in less than a day. He got the cash present and I still have no idea what I got him for his birthday....
Father's day should be interesting.....

They'll Be Fine......I Turned Out Pretty Good

The past few months have been rough. Not bad rough, but kid rough. The twins are coming into their own little persons and have quite different personalities. Cooper is, well, Cooper....just older. And Katie.....Oh, Lord, where to start.

Having four year old twins is crazier than something out of a Yo Gabba Gabba show. No matter how much you enjoy it, or not, the creative differences in each of them is so outlandish sometimes that you can't believe they're twins. Mackenzie is a genius. No, I'm serious. Her math skills are stupid. She reads, she writes, she can count, she can spell and the kid can tell time. SHE'S FOUR! But, the downside of having a genius four year old is that she's overly emotional, she argues EVERYTHING and she thinks she's always right. (wonder where she gets that.) My little bundle of twinkie joy has grown from a crooked headed little smiley delight, to a kid wonder, and I love her.

I have only one word to describe what Rayla has become; Passionate. That child is passionate about everything. Now, this is good, and this is bad. On the upside when she is positively passionate about something it's one of the cutest and most endearing things I encounter. She gets involved in what she's reading, listening to or watching. She analyzes everything and makes her own creative stories or endings to whatever she has dived into. The down side to a passionate person is when that passion comes out in anger, frustration or orneriness. In trouble? You'd think we're nailing her to the floor. Mad at her sister or brother? You'd think they had beat her in the head with a pan. Upset that she can't do something right? Oh, boy.....That takes patience, and I'll be honest with you, I almost lost it a few times. But, she is growing and learning and her passion is a trait that is going to serve her well in her life. And, for those of you who have followed her health issues I can update that, too: Her asthma had gotten so bad that her albuterol inhaler just wasn't enough anymore. She is now on a daily steroid inhaler and, although it wouldn't have been my first choice, she's so much better now. She breathes. She sleeps. And, so do I........

Cooper has had a rough go in Kindergarten. He's been in trouble a few times, mostly for being distracting in class. When the teacher is talking he seems to drift his eyes away from her and focus on something completely unrelated to what he's being taught. But, when asked to repeat what the teacher had said, not thinking he'd be able to do it, he'll recite back what was taught almost word for word. Of course, when he gets distracted with something, it becomes a domino effect, taking down any suspecting children who follow in his footsteps, because, in all reality, most kids will NOT be able to remember what they're being told while looking at something else. So, that, on top of a couple of NON malicious acts of naughtiness, and he's been labeled already. Now, as a mother who is very on top of things in general when it comes to my kids, I see a Kindergartner who is testing boundaries, using creative outlets to get attention and maybe even suffering from a little boredom when it comes to the end of his school day. I never would have thought he would get labeled, and it's a little frustrating that he has been - He's wonderful at home, so it was quite a surprise to get the calls. At the same time, I suppose that his desire to be class clown has been pushed too far, and the teachers have to put their feet down before it gets out of hand. I KNOW kids can be ornery, even naughty. But he's smart, does his work, is loving, helpful and has such a great personality. Cooper has made a turn around and is making efforts not to be so distracting, and we're so proud of him. I never told my husband this, but in Kindergarten I got so mad at my teacher for making me sit with my head down so much that I got up, walked out of the classroom and headed out of the school to go home. The principal saw me at the front door and stopped me. My mom got called and I got in a little more trouble that I would have had I just chilled out. I still turned out pretty good.

He turns 6 next week.

Finally 15, Katie is now old enough to learn how to drive. Unfortunately for her, fortunately for us, her grades aren't good enough for us to allow that luxury just yet. I am confident in my belief that Katie just thought her work would do itself, turn itself in, and it would all be 100% correct. This last report card made it obvious to her that it takes a lot more than wishful thinking to make a good grade happen. She seems a little more focused this past week. As much as I want to say that it's because she's come to a revelation, I do think that some of it has to do with the fact that at conferences last week some of her teachers showed me some secrets to help me keep a closer eye on work that's due that makes it so she CAN'T miss anything. Ever. Teenagers are, for lack of a better word, dumb. Don't dog on me just yet......You all know you wanna say it. I believe this because I was one once, too. They think they know everything and their parents know nothing. They think that their way is right and parents are too controlling. They think that when we take away their electronics their lives are over. Ugh......that's a whole blog in itself. Anyways, as immature as teens are in most decisions they make, I've discovered that they surely aren't stupid. Meaning, they know right from wrong - Katie still makes choices sometimes that makes me wonder what's going on in that head of hers.  And that makes for some interesting conversations in this house.

What have I learned the past few months?
1. I know all about my daughter. Yet, I probably know nothing.
2. 50/50 are decent odds. Unless it's a chance you're taking that could turn out really bad. Then your chances of bad things happening increases ten fold.
3. I never anticipated my children finding other ways to say "I forgot" or "I never heard you say that" once I banned those phrases from our house.
4. No shoes in the house, (kids) has been a rule in my house for years. They actually think I'm stupid enough not to notice when they are clomping mud through the house or flopping on the couch with their shoes on.
5. Speaking of shoes, I've decided that when my children decide to take their shoes off, they place them with the sole intent of seeing if I can fall on them. They usually succeed...Must be my punishment for making them take their shoes off.
6.Morning breath happens to everyone. But, when my children come in my bed, crowd  me in, then tell ME to roll over because my breath smells bad is just not fair. But because I love them, I do it.
......................Or I breathe hard on them and scare em' back to their own rooms. Depends on how I feel.



So, enjoy your children, learn from their curiosity, and hope that whatever you say, do and teach to them will sink in and that eventually they'll know that whatever you've done was always in their best interest.

I hit the Mudder Woad

Hello mudder, hello fahder........

You know the song. I know the song. And that's what my little Rayla calls me and her dad. Mudder and Fahder. It is by far one of the cutest things I hear my kids say on a daily basis. Luckily for me, most of the children have spoken some of their letters a little 'off' at times, resulting in the sweetest versions of whatever it is they're trying to say.

Speech impediments are no stranger to this family. From a young age, Katie had difficulties with the sound 'k'  the sound 't' and differentiating between her R's, L's and W's. One summer, before we were even married, I think, we were driving in to Portland and playing the game 'I spy' with things along the drive. It was Katie's turn, and she had the letter W. I remember her looking out the front window and shouting "I got it!! I spy, with my little eye, something that stawts with W." And, so we began......"Is it Washington?" "No." "Is it the window?" "Nope" We went on and on with guesses until it seemed that she really hadn't figured something out and was pulling our chain. So we gave up. "What is it then" We asked. "Silly mom, it's WOAD! We dwive on a woad!" OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!! We nearly wet ourselves laughing so hard. And, before she called Corey 'Dad,' she had some difficulties with his name that always left us giggling. She couldn't say Corey with a 'k' sound. But, she COULD say the sound. So, for a good two years, we practiced constantly with her; "Say, K - K - K - COREY." She would say "K - K - K - TOWEE." Eventually, she got it. But, we don't let her forget. Woad, load, road.....To her, it was all the same thing!

Now, little kids often have issues with "th" and making it sound right. Most of the time, the replacement for 'th' is 'd'. Which is where Mudder and Fahder come in. Only Rayla does this right now, but, Cooper and Katie both did it, too,  when they were toddlers. Mackenzie went straight from 'mama' to "It's awfully nice to see you mother." Articulate child, she is. But, when Rayla calls me Mudder, it's just a blessing to hear. She's got a little bit of a raspy voice (naturally), and when she actually says the word, it's always in an endearing manner. "Mudder, may I please have a snack?" or "I love you, Mudder!" Just wonderful. It's even cuter listening to the twins talk since they got their hair cuts. Somehow, everything seems cuter with their little bob cuts!!

Corey and I attended Cooper's first school conferences. It didn't quite go as we had thought it would. Smart kid, they say. Does well in math, in reading, and in recalling things he's been taught. In fact, he excels significantly for Kindergarten and is above where he needs to be. But, he just doesn't listen to his teachers!! What?!? Could they really mean my sweet, smart, patient, loving little boy? Apparently so, because, the two different teachers we conferenced with both told us the same thing. Lovely. While we were sitting in conferencing with Mrs. Irusta, a teacher who proudly doesn't give in to the devilish behaviors of these testy little critters, Cooper says "Mrs. Irusta, I love you." Now, as sweet as that did sound and may seem, she was quick to say, "Well, buddy, you're too late. I've already told your parents about your awful behavior." Now, it might not have been those exact words, but you get the gist. And, to top it all off, this was the teacher that he cried over having to give a Valentine to, because she had sent him to the "thinking chair" too many times. Obviously, not enough, though, since his report card, AND both his teachers, verify that he's failing in that area. I know I'm not failing in teaching him at home. BUT, there's room for improvement. And, from here on out, this mudder isn't going to let things slide as easily as before. Now, how to convince Corey to lay the law down a little harder on his one and only son......that's another story.

Those Dreadful Valentines....

Valentine's day is in two days. There are two things that usually cross my mind when it comes to this holiday: 1.) Are we going out or staying in? And, if we go out, who's babysitting?
2.) Oh, those dreadful school Valentines!!

Just kidding about the dreadful Valentines. But, the task is large, especially for younger school age children. It's all about finding the "coolest" box sets of valentines to hand out to friends. Now, I've only in the past had Katie to deal with, so as long as it was frilly and girly it was fine.  But, apparently, boys are different. The box set needs to be "boyish" and even the cards inside must be separated for the boys and the girls. Heaven forbid that a boy gets one of those Spongebob cards that looks like it should have gone to a girl!!! Maybe that's just my son, for he is a perfectionist. Wonder where he gets that from?!? Actually, we sat down Sunday afternoon and had ALL the kids do their Valentines. The girls have preschool Valentines, and Cooper has kindergarten. Katie couldn't care less, probably because she doesn't have a boyfriend.....I'm not complaining.

Watching the children do their valentines is really quite sweet. They are all so different in the way they went about personalizing their cards. Cooper carefully wrote every name clearly, and signed his so that everyone knew that it was from him. He was thrilled to be filling these out. EXCEPT, when it came to one of the four teachers that he interacts with. In fact, we had to convince him, through tears of refusal, that all teachers deserve a Valentine. Apparently, however, Cooper didn't see it that way - According to him, there's one teacher who has no problem throwing him in the "thinking chair" whenever she sees fit. Now, because I KNOW that my son is ornery, I know that every time he's sent there is well deserved. Anyways, we finally convinced him to sign a card for her, and in the end he was happy to do so. But that, was quite the trip!

The girls are nothing alike. Mackenzie signs her name on her cards very carefully and makes an "assignment" out of it. She always finishes what she begins, so this task took a LONG time. Good thing we did this on a Sunday or mama would have been doing this on Wednesday night after everyone went to bed! Rayla is a little more eclectic with her cards. Apparently she didn't understand that you write your name on the back of the cards...a few cards in I realized that she was actually coloring in the Hello Kitty face on the front of the cards. Oh, well...She says that this way everyone will know it's from her, which I'm sure of. A Valentines card with a cool cartoon, colored in with black pen and an empty back side where the names are supposed to go? Yep, that's my Rayla.....spaz extraordinaire!

Thank God Katie doesn't have a boyfriend yet. She isn't really into Valentine's Day, and that's okay with us! She went to the Valentine's dance last weekend with her friends, and she loved "going stag." I was a little leery about this group of girls going to the "Valentine's Dance" dateless, but, they just figured they were all each other's dates. They re-created a picture that they all posed for 8 years ago....that's half their lives! So it was worth just that for them to get out and be together. This whole thing about me hoping that she doesn't find a boyfriend in the near future probably has something to do with the stories Corey has told me about boys this age. It scares the crap outta me! Of course, I think that my husband, back in the day, likely wasn't the best example of how boys should act. But,  if that was the case, he's learned something over the years, cause' he really is the biggest romantic I know!! That being said, I have no idea whether he's planning something or maybe I should!! ha ha. With four kids, though, putting romance into the day is nearly impossible for us. And, it's a school night......ah, parenthood on Valentine's day!!

So to all of you out there gearing to celebrate love, Happy Valentine's Day!

The Blame Game

Kenzie: "Mom, lookit what Rayla did!"
Rayla: "I didn't do it, mom!"
Kenzie in a sing song voice: "Yes she did. Lookit, mom. Ray-La did it."
(tears now flowing)
Rayla: "I did NOT! Kenzie did it."
Me: "Kenzie, did you do this"
(smug smile, ornery as hell)
Kenzie: "Yeah. hehehe. I just blaming Rayla."


All you parents know it. You dread it. You despise it. Not only because it's wrong, but because it's just plain mean. I'm talking about the 'Blame Game.'

In my house there are three little ones who seem to like this game because they play it so often. Anything, everything and anyone is a possible victim in this game. And, always unsuspecting. Luckily for me, I have eyes in the back of my head and can see when these little fibbers are just blowing smoke. My game for them? Who's gonna tell the truth. Cause' mommy's got a nice treat for the most honest one. You'd think that "treat" would be reason enough for them to cut it out. But, my kids are hard headed. They do it again, and again and again, each time causing one or more others to burst into tears for fear that they're going to be unfairly punished. Like I said, though, the eyes in the back of my head see everything and I just love bustin' em'!! Mackenzie is the worst. She is by far the orneriest of all our kids. But, it's because she's so smart. This child has tact written all over her. She calculates everything she does, from the way she dresses herself in the morning, to the way she colors a picture. (She colors in the lines. No kidding.) She knows that if she says something just the right way at just the right time it's going to get a rise out of me. I have to admit, in the early stages of this blame game mastery I fell victim too and punished the wrong child with a timeout a time or two...or three. (Never Mackenzie, however) I think I've finally got it though - how to play the game. So I play back...for a while at least.

Santa has become my biggest alliance in this. Just one simple threat to call him and update him on their behavior sets forth a series of guilt admittance, apologies and declarations of never doing such a thing again. Obviously, since I'm writing this post, that last part has yet to see fulfillment. And, believe it or not, I'm okay with that. Although I hate the fib, I love the routine - The fib, the acceptance, the apology. Taking responsibility for something they've done, or something they've said. It's a learning process. I may use an imaginative person as a threat for completing this process, but it's recognizable, and that's important.

In the meantime I hope I don't see too many more tears over this. I laugh it off as funny in the aspect of the orneriness that I see in my ever blossoming child. One day the game is going to bite her in the butt, and she'll get put in a timeout for something she hasn't done. And then, and only then, will she realize just how much her little fib hurts another......And maybe they'll want to play something less victimizing than the 'Blame Game.'

Git 'r' Done!!

It's 2013. A year for new resolutions and new beginnings......

2012 ended viciously. Nearly every person in our household was sick for one reason or another. Between November 4 and December 21 Cooper missed 14 days of school. Yes, you read that right...FOURTEEN days of school. Viral tonsillitis. Now, I thought that we had seen the highest fever in our kids when one of them had a 104.9 last year sometime. That's nothin'! Try 106.9....I thought we were gonna have to take him to the ER for sure. We did this twice - The illness. He'd get a sudden fever and we'd battle this for 7 days. Up every few hours in the night to bring down his fever, alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen, and making sure our little man remained hydrated. It was scary, to say the least. And the fever wasn't even the worst part; His tonsils resembled ground beef - Bloody, full of pus and nearly touching. I guess ground beef doesn't really look like that, but...yeah....lol... After what seemed like our 20th visit to see a doctor (because the antibiotics weren't making him any better) a doctor we saw, who we don't normally see, said that "Standard policy with tonsils is we need to see 6 episodes of tonsillitis in a year in order to refer you to an ENT." I wasn't okay with that. We had to do this THREE more times? Over my dead body......So we saw the kids' regular doc and he was convinced it was okay to see an ENT. :) Cooper goes in February for his consult. Corey, the twins and I had bronchitis - mine went viral, literally - I had to go on meds. As did Rayla. Cooper and Mac skidded through with just a couple days of misery. And Katie breezed through the land of nothingness. I like that. I like nothingness. Nothingness means healthy. No bugs. No fevers. No chest congestion. Nothing. Now, why can't that happen with the rest of em'!!?!!

So, on to 2013. I really didn't think that I was going to have resolutions. But, it seemed that my sweet husband and teenage daughter decided I should, and therefore thought of one for me. They say I should see something through. ALL the way through. Okay. At first I was like "Whaaa? You think I don't do anything!!? You think I'm just lazy and don't get things done?!!" Then, I thought about it. What did I resolve to do last year, or say I was going to do, and didn't follow through? Obviously I clean, cook, care for kids, medicate, launder and love as needed. But what was it that I didn't DO...for me? Here's what I didn't get done last year.

Do more singing. Whether by joining a group, a choir, auditioning for some reality show or something along those lines. Nope, not accomplished.
Make more friends. I was a part of a bunco group that dissipated after 12 years in August...I thought I'd arrange for a casual "girls night out" for each month with no obligation for people to be there. Nope, didn't do that either.
Lose weight. Yeah, not going into details on that one, but, I'm still fat.
Eat healthier. I did. For a while. Lost some weight. Felt better. Then I got sad for some reason and just kept on eating crap after I got happy.
Find a hobby. Now, I love to write. My daughter gets that from me. I guess I've considered my blogging to be a hobby. But, I don't do it enough to claim it as so. So, yeah, I didn't do that either.


I didn't resolve to do anything this year...I just figured it was another year for me to make things right. But, I think I need to incorporate the above things into making it right for myself.

I do suppose I need to make some serious changes in me, too, for Cooper seems to think his mother is 300 years old and possibly wears diapers. (Decided in a couple of conversations about age.) I'm on the right track, though..I've already made changes. Git 'r' done!!




Next up: The blame game.