The Blame Game

Kenzie: "Mom, lookit what Rayla did!"
Rayla: "I didn't do it, mom!"
Kenzie in a sing song voice: "Yes she did. Lookit, mom. Ray-La did it."
(tears now flowing)
Rayla: "I did NOT! Kenzie did it."
Me: "Kenzie, did you do this"
(smug smile, ornery as hell)
Kenzie: "Yeah. hehehe. I just blaming Rayla."


All you parents know it. You dread it. You despise it. Not only because it's wrong, but because it's just plain mean. I'm talking about the 'Blame Game.'

In my house there are three little ones who seem to like this game because they play it so often. Anything, everything and anyone is a possible victim in this game. And, always unsuspecting. Luckily for me, I have eyes in the back of my head and can see when these little fibbers are just blowing smoke. My game for them? Who's gonna tell the truth. Cause' mommy's got a nice treat for the most honest one. You'd think that "treat" would be reason enough for them to cut it out. But, my kids are hard headed. They do it again, and again and again, each time causing one or more others to burst into tears for fear that they're going to be unfairly punished. Like I said, though, the eyes in the back of my head see everything and I just love bustin' em'!! Mackenzie is the worst. She is by far the orneriest of all our kids. But, it's because she's so smart. This child has tact written all over her. She calculates everything she does, from the way she dresses herself in the morning, to the way she colors a picture. (She colors in the lines. No kidding.) She knows that if she says something just the right way at just the right time it's going to get a rise out of me. I have to admit, in the early stages of this blame game mastery I fell victim too and punished the wrong child with a timeout a time or two...or three. (Never Mackenzie, however) I think I've finally got it though - how to play the game. So I play back...for a while at least.

Santa has become my biggest alliance in this. Just one simple threat to call him and update him on their behavior sets forth a series of guilt admittance, apologies and declarations of never doing such a thing again. Obviously, since I'm writing this post, that last part has yet to see fulfillment. And, believe it or not, I'm okay with that. Although I hate the fib, I love the routine - The fib, the acceptance, the apology. Taking responsibility for something they've done, or something they've said. It's a learning process. I may use an imaginative person as a threat for completing this process, but it's recognizable, and that's important.

In the meantime I hope I don't see too many more tears over this. I laugh it off as funny in the aspect of the orneriness that I see in my ever blossoming child. One day the game is going to bite her in the butt, and she'll get put in a timeout for something she hasn't done. And then, and only then, will she realize just how much her little fib hurts another......And maybe they'll want to play something less victimizing than the 'Blame Game.'