Corey and I were laying in bed reading a couple weeks ago, and he came across an article discussing things that would make you (us) feel old. The first item up? Marty McFly went "Back to the future" in 1985 to 1955. In two years, if we went back the same amount of time, we'd be in the same year that Marty McFly was in his real time....1985. Yeah, 1985 was 28 years ago. Holy cow.
Also, for you Friends fans out there: Chandler and Monica's twins would be 9 this year, Phoebe's triplets would be 14, Ben (Ross and Carol's son) would be 18 and Emma (Ross and Rachel's daughter) would be 11. Doesn't quite seem possible.
All this talk about perspectives, age and time probably has something to do with the fact that I'm about to turn 35. Now, that's not an age that is really bothering me much. But, as I was on the phone with my grandma a few days ago, she said something that resulted in me reminding her that I'll be 40 in 5 years. Forty! And, then I began to cry....I'm not even there yet, and something about saying it made me pretty darn upset. I have a plethora of reasons as to why I could be upset with it, but they're all silly and selfish really.
I sat on the deck last Thursday night, my son was in the bathtub, my husband was close by him listening to a football game, Katie was doing chores and the twins were getting out their last bit of energy on the playground. I closed my eyes and momentarily drifted into deep thought about my life and certain meanings in things. Although sad, the first thing that crossed my mind was my sister. Well, Mt. Bachelor actually. In our youth, our grandparents would take my sister and me to Bachelor for weekend snowmobiling trips. We'd speed up the trails toward the mountain, often going so fast that our grandparents would lose sight of us completely. We loved it up there...the beauty, the serenity, and the wide open spaces. Snowmobiling on the mountain was also where and when the infamous family song "Grandma got run over by a snowmobile" was first brought to life. I love those memories. But, sitting right there in the front of my mind, despite what those memories are, remains the fact that Mt. Bachelor became the final resting place for my sister in 2010. (For the story, see my August 2010 blog post) I still see Bachelor as a skiing, snowboarding and snowmobiling resort. But, along with a little catch of my breath, the first thing that comes to mind when I hear "Mt. Bachelor" is Bobbie.....And that likely won't change.
With each year that passes since her death, the death itself becomes less of an impact, and the memories of the life we shared are brought to life in such grand light that I often forget all the hard times she endured. Is that maturity? Or, is that part of the grieving process? Either way, I have found myself seeing things so differently as I age, and that wild, over-dramatic spunky person I once was is long gone. Just ask my kids. In fact, when Corey recently asked the kids what I wanted for my birthday, two of them said a Bulldog or a pug (yes, I love them and can't wait to have one......When my kids are grown and there are no dog allergies in the house), one of them said a down pillow, and the other one said a wheelchair. Can you guess which one said wheelchair? Haha.
So, for my birthday I don't wish for frivolous objects. I wish for healthy kids, a happy family and some good cheer to come my way. I guess I really am an adult now.
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