Still Learning........

It has been almost 6 years since I decided to become a stay at home mom..... I was actually pretty sure this was what I wanted while pregnant with Cooper, but we weren't sure that it was possible. This time 6 years ago I was back at work full time wishing I was at home with my beautiful baby boy. A couple of months later, with a hectic rush to find childcare, it was decided that it was just too much, and I would stay home. It's been quite a ride so far. In my efforts to teach my kids a thing or two, I've also learned things myself. I have grown up SO much in the past 6 years. Although I considered myself a pretty responsible adult before Cooper was born, I'm at a place now that I wasn't before then.

Here are some things that I've learned that, although sometimes tough, made me a stronger person:

Housecleaning is overrated. It only gets noticed when you haven't done it. Or when it's done really, really well - You know, the kind of cleaning you do before you're having a large number of guests over. The kind that your kids point out to the guests as they arrive. "My mom cleaned ALL morning"!!

Privacy is not in a young child's vocabulary. The bedroom, the bathroom, or even the back porch is not a possible option when looking for some solitude when you have children. They don't understand that, if I'm on the pot, they should probably leave me alone for a few minutes. Or, if I'm in the shower, I can't break up a fight! Work it out, children! Work. It. Out.

Our bed is apparently thought to be the midnight gathering place for the kids. We have a king size bed, so it's quite large...But, add in children and it feels like a twin bed really fast!!

Friendships are a funny thing. When you have kids, those who are your real friends will stick around, make play dates, schedule friendly gatherings or come and visit. But those who aren't become "fake" friends. They stay cordial, when they see you, but in secret are constantly hoping that you don't ask them to come somewhere where your kids will be present. I have had a few of these, and I've always wondered how they'd handle parenthood if it ever came their way!!

The way I think I look and the way I actually look, when my children are in tow, are two totally different things. Most of the time I'm probably tired, haggard and maybe even dressed a little frumpy. But if I feel good, and, actually slept the previous night I usually think I look like a Rock Star....I guess that's all that counts. But, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if the hosts of "What not to wear" made a surprise appearance at my front door one day......"You've had this for HOW long"?......

I am completely unaffected by my own children's snot. Everyone else's children's snot will make me gag.....or worse!

High Blood Pressure is very real. Contributing factors include; Being chubby, genes, fights with my teenage daughter, calming a four year old's scream-fest in WalMart, or playing a video game with my perfectionist son.

If you have young children who you allow to explore outside, you will find strange animals in your home on occasion. Frogs, grasshoppers, unrealistically large black beetles, dead flies, and even extremely large slugs have made their way into my house. If I catch them before they get the animals in here, I redirect them right back to the yard they found it in. Ugh...heebie jeebies!!

Pedicures are a must. If you haven't ever had one, quit worrying about a stranger touching your feet........It's what they do! You'll be SO happy you did. And once you go spa, you'll know how to get your "ahhhhhh".

No matter what it is, if I buy food with the intent of using it for a specific reason, I need to hide it, label it, or do a Vanna White showing with a descriptive explanation as to what it's intended uses will be. Otherwise, without question, it will get eaten. Hummus....Yeah, that'll go. Pepperoni for the pizzas I'm making at the end of the week? OH, what perfect snackers!

Kids know stuff. They know when you're having a bad day, even when you do your best not to show it. They know when you're driving too fast. They know when you're hurt and when you don't feel well. What they don't know is that if you have a phone next to your ear you're on the phone. I still don't get that one.

Date night. Simply put, if you have children, or even if you don't, you need a night out occasionally. Eat and have a drink in peace. It's OKAY and it's likely well deserved. EVERY PARENT NEEDS A BREAK! It doesn't mean you're a bad parent for wanting a break...It means you're human.

HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. There is no question that some days will be harder than others. The thing that matters is how I get through those days. Laugh it off! Play around.....Take a picture! And know that even if a bowl of spaghetti gets on your light colored carpet, shit happens.

Don't let others bring you down. You will get judged by a number of different people who do things very differently than you. But, unless you're REALLY messing up, I mean, putting yourself or your family through the ringer, take each criticism with a grain of salt. Nobody's perfect, and your criticizers are probably the least qualified people to give you advice on how to raise your kids, clean your house, etc.....

It's okay to have a bad day.....it's a natural thing! As long as you don't take it out on your kids. Your husband can handle it, though....And, you know he's close to perfect if, when you're having a bad day, he brings you your favorite coffee.

Accept help when offered. Nobody expects to go through rough patches, but everyone does. Whether it be along the lines of housecleaning, laundry, emotions, childcare or finances, at some point, you have to be willing to give in to the offers and let someone help you out.. If they're offering at all, they see something that you might not be able to, or are unwilling to accept. However, if they're offering unsolicited advice on HOW to do something, that's a different story......

And finally, I have a husband. Sometimes amid the daily grind - In my case, kids, kids, kids and more kids, I forget about the needs of the man in my life. When I pass him heading home on MY way to town, I'm fairly certain that he thinks I'm trying to avoid him. That isn't the case - It's when I can go! But, this is why date night is so important.  


Every day is a learning experience. Life happens. And, unless we learn to just go with it, it's gonna kick our butts. Remember who you were, who you are, and who you want to be.