Let's Talk About That Later!

Summer is in full swing. The kids are getting tan while spending their days outside playing, exploring and hunting (frogs and bugs, that is!). The swimming pool is up and we've spent many a day out there cooling off in this Summer heat. Although the kids don't know how to swim, yet, we're working with them to teach them some basics. They are all doing so well, and, I'm glad we have this pool....even if the upkeep is tedious!!

So, at the ages of 4 and 6, we are now working on refining our manners. Instead of saying "I want this" or "I want that," we are learning to phrase things that are respectful and appropriate. "May I please have a cookie?" sounds so much better than "I want a cookie". Mackenzie seems to think that I should be able to read her mind. Out of the blue, on many occasions, she'll come up to me, and, in an angered voice say, "I SAID I wanted a drink of water!!" She never did say such a thing, and when you argue with her she says "But, I DID say it...yesterday!!" Okay, and she probably got water yesterday, too. She's kind of a little pit, sometimes, but, when she's doing things right, and saying things nicely, she does them really, really well. So, I just encourage nicer words. We're getting there! 

As with any child, we're also learning the do's and don'ts of burps and farts. This came about recently when the children just weren't paying attention anymore and were farting at the dinner table, or belching in public...basically, making bodily noises at times when they shouldn't be. After one night of a child's SBD, (silent but deadly), I couldn't take it anymore. My new rule was that, if ever anyone, adults included, needed to pass gas when we were sitting at the table, they needed to remove themselves from the table and go into another room. I'm fairly certain that my children have taken this as a joke. Every night, like clockwork, we sit down and 10 minutes in, one yells out they have to fart, and runs from the table to another room. Then, the next child. And, the next. Here we are at dinner time and I've got kids scrambling around the house trying to find an empty room to fart in. Rayla didn't really get it, and ran to the kitchen. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because, for the longest time, all I wanted was my kids to sit still at the table and eat with no distractions. They had it down!! Yet, here we are. 

In recent weeks those curious body questions have begun to come out of the wood works from Cooper. A couple weeks ago he said to me "Mom, I know that babies come out of your tummy because you have to have your tummy cut, but how do babies get in there"? I didn't argue the c-section thing, because that's all he knows, and for now, all he needs to know. When it came to the latter part of that question I stammered for a bit before saying "Let's talk about that later"! Normally, we're pretty open with the kids when they ask questions, but he's not ready for that. Heck, I'M not ready for that. But, I suppose it's better that it come from me in a simple manner rather than in a classroom taught by someone who is not filtered. (There was an incident in our little town recently where a teacher allegedly went in to graphic detail about sexual situations with 4th graders.....graphic enough for the school district to invite parents to a meeting to express their concerns). So, back to us...... In short, I haven't told him how babies get there and I'm not going to for a while. At 6 that could mentally traumatize him and he would no longer see mom and dad in the same way again. I'd miss that!! 

Last week, after a couple of hours playing in the pool, the kids noticed that their toes and fingers had become "pruny" just like they do during bath time. They asked why, and we explained that when your skin is wet for a while, it gets soft and wrinkly...but soon it dries and your skin is smooth and soft again. End of conversation? No. So later that night while I was putting Cooper to bed he sits up and asks "Mom, why are my balls always pruny"? Shocked, I had to turn my face and hold my laugh, because it was obvious he was quite serious. I said "Well, son, that's just the way they are."
Cooper: "But, they're always like that, even if I haven't been in the water, and you said that skin gets pruny when it gets wet!"
Me: "Balls are different son. It's stays that way to keep them protected." 
Cooper: "Are Kenzie and Rayla's balls pruny, too?
Me: "They don't have balls, son. They have a vagina. They don't have a penis, either."
Cooper: "THEY DON'T?" "What about you and dad....Do you guys have balls?"
Me: "I'm a girl, so I don't have balls. But, yes, you dad does....all boys and men do!"
Cooper: "Are they pruny just like mine!?!?!"

At this point I shook my head,  laughed and told him he needed to go to sleep. In all the conversations that I imagined having with my son, this was not one of them. But at least he knows I don't have balls.....At least, not in a physical way! 

When is the right time to tell your kids about this stuff? I remember having this question when I contemplated telling Katie a few years back. I'm glad I told her what I did when I did, because the stuff she could access today could easily cloud judgment of what is right and wrong. In the meantime, I'll just continue to teach manners, body parts and, in time, functions. 

Oh, boy.