I wonder what kind of a response I'd get if I answered "I've been dying to tell you....I'm insane!"
Of all the things to get "easier" after the first year of having twins and a toddler, getting a backache is not what I would have put at the top of the list. It probably wouldn't be this way if the twins didn't love to be held at the same time. Always. Lucky for us, Cooper is a little more independent and just likes to be off on his own, walking "like a big boy." Yay, for him! My arm muscles are quite strong, and my legs are beginning to tone more with the running around that I do, but the back......It may be time to invest in a back brace!
I can't say that I'm surprised when I walk into a room, or a store with my purse slung over my shoulder, a baby under each arm and I'm directing cooper with my foot, and people stare with jaws dropped to the floor. I feel like a spectacle, and believe me when I say it's the last thing I want. Yes, I shop with all my kids - Safeway and Rosauers have graciously designed carts just for stupid mothers like me who insist on taking their whole clan of kids to shop. I feel like I have now mastered the art of driving the undriveable shopping cart. But the hardest thing is not shopping with the kids anymore. It's the strangers who insist on stopping me to ask me if the girls are twins, google and oogle at them when I say yes, and then engage Cooper in conversation so he "doesn't feel left out." It's the same thing every single time I go out. And, the comments are the same. "You're one busy momma." "I bet they keep you on your toes." "That's a load of kids you've got there!" I mean, come on....I KNOW that I'm busy - I'm SHOPPING with them. YES they keep me on my toes. And NO my son doesn't need you to suggest that he's possibly being left out of anything. Aaaargh! Self proclaimed psychologists and surrogate "grandparents" can be found in nearly every aisle of a grocery store, and it sucks.
I often try to sing to my kids while I'm shopping, which could easily get me labeled as insane without me claiming it myself. I get in a zone, sing children's songs to keep them happy, and sometimes, I actually shop in peace. So, to all those people who insist on stopping mothers while shopping with their kids: STOP IT! Really, we don't appreciate it. If you'd like to talk to us, give us your number and we'll call you when we have a free moment. It might be a few weeks, but, we'll call if we want to. All hail the mothers who do it all......All hail mothers of multiples!
A couple of nights ago my husband told me a joke. I laughed until I nearly cried. Then, he asked me for something that made me freeze in place. He asked me to tell HIM a joke. Now, you might think "That's not so bad," or "OK, so what's the big deal?" Right? Well, friends, that is a weakness that I haven't ever faced before. I can be funny in what I write, but, never am I telling jokes. It's a totally different concept to me! I did, in all fairness, try to remember one that I saw somewhere to share with him. As I began the joke, that I dug deep in the crevasse of my brain to find, he informed me that he'd just read that same joke a couple of months ago in a playboy magazine. Oh, yeah....That's probably where I saw it too! Oh, well....I guess the joke's on me!
All the hullabaloo about funny stuff made me think that truthfully, every single day there is something funny that we say, or do, and I'm fairly certain that's one of the greatest strengths we share as a couple. For instance, a couple of weeks ago we went through the drive-thru ATM at our bank. Corey noticed that next to the buttons on the screen was braille. He asked, why in the world would there need to be BRAILLE in a DRIVE THRU ATM?? I'm sure someone was just doing what they were told, but, really? Or, why do we drive in parkway, or park in a driveway? I'm sure you've heard that before. The one that got me laughing so hard with Corey was "If you spin an oriental man in circles, does he become disoriented?" Still laughing, even as I type! So silly, but so good for the soul.
And then, my kids....Where to begin. I'm beginning to wonder if it's at all a good idea to take them anywhere. My son, who is brilliant by nature, is very open and honest with whatever he is talking about. Unfortunately for me, right now his biggest concern is his genitalia. I've never been around little boys at this age, so this is a new territory for me, and sometimes slightly embarrassing. Grown men can easily adjust themselves when they're uncomfortable, but a 3 year old boy doesn't know what's going on. He whines, cries, kicks, screams and even yells out occasionally that he doesn't like his jewels anymore...He wants to get rid of them! Oh, poor boy. I unbuckle his seat belt, I shake his pants, make him jump around and do whatever it takes to allow him to comfort himself (almost whatever). He's usually fine within minutes and we're back to shopping, or driving, or whatever it was we were doing before the catastrophe began.
The twins are maniacal runners now. I'm sure they run in opposite directions on purpose, and I think that the tongue sticking out is really a shot at me, rather that just a funny face. It's like they're saying "come and get me mom!.....If you can!" With the Summer finally here, we've spent some time outside lately. I'm thankful every minute that Corey built us the fence. I couldn't keep up with the three little ones without it. I've had the pools out, but for some reason, my children keep being drawn toward the puddles left from the hose being pulled out of the pool, and the rocks that surround the play structure. Instead of splashing, they throw rocks to hear them crackle on the plastic, and then they stick a few in their mouths for fun. They chase bees, they bite the dog, they head for the stairs, they play in the dog water, they splash in the fountain and they stomp on my flowers. It's never at all how I plan for it to go, but somehow we always make it inside safe, happy and maybe a little dirty to boot.
Katie's been a great help since school got out a little over a month ago. This weekend, she'll be going to California for the rest of the Summer, so I'll have to figure out some better ways to manage my time. I'm sure she's ready for her break from us, and hopefully she has a good time. The older she gets, the more she wants to just be here with her friends. And in 2 years, she'll be able to work.....Hard to believe it. This is the first year that I've had all my children together for the 4th of July, and we had a blast. The local parade, fireworks, a little barbecue...It was perfect.
So, I might not be a comedian. But, the life I live is a daily comedy, and I love being right where I am, sharing the craziness, the sadness and the love in each blog I have time to create.
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