It has been almost 6 years since I decided to become a stay at home mom..... I was actually pretty sure this was what I wanted while pregnant with Cooper, but we weren't sure that it was possible. This time 6 years ago I was back at work full time wishing I was at home with my beautiful baby boy. A couple of months later, with a hectic rush to find childcare, it was decided that it was just too much, and I would stay home. It's been quite a ride so far. In my efforts to teach my kids a thing or two, I've also learned things myself. I have grown up SO much in the past 6 years. Although I considered myself a pretty responsible adult before Cooper was born, I'm at a place now that I wasn't before then.
Here are some things that I've learned that, although sometimes tough, made me a stronger person:
Housecleaning is overrated. It only gets noticed when you haven't done it. Or when it's done really, really well - You know, the kind of cleaning you do before you're having a large number of guests over. The kind that your kids point out to the guests as they arrive. "My mom cleaned ALL morning"!!
Privacy is not in a young child's vocabulary. The bedroom, the bathroom, or even the back porch is not a possible option when looking for some solitude when you have children. They don't understand that, if I'm on the pot, they should probably leave me alone for a few minutes. Or, if I'm in the shower, I can't break up a fight! Work it out, children! Work. It. Out.
Our bed is apparently thought to be the midnight gathering place for the kids. We have a king size bed, so it's quite large...But, add in children and it feels like a twin bed really fast!!
Friendships are a funny thing. When you have kids, those who are your real friends will stick around, make play dates, schedule friendly gatherings or come and visit. But those who aren't become "fake" friends. They stay cordial, when they see you, but in secret are constantly hoping that you don't ask them to come somewhere where your kids will be present. I have had a few of these, and I've always wondered how they'd handle parenthood if it ever came their way!!
The way I think I look and the way I actually look, when my children are in tow, are two totally different things. Most of the time I'm probably tired, haggard and maybe even dressed a little frumpy. But if I feel good, and, actually slept the previous night I usually think I look like a Rock Star....I guess that's all that counts. But, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if the hosts of "What not to wear" made a surprise appearance at my front door one day......"You've had this for HOW long"?......
I am completely unaffected by my own children's snot. Everyone else's children's snot will make me gag.....or worse!
High Blood Pressure is very real. Contributing factors include; Being chubby, genes, fights with my teenage daughter, calming a four year old's scream-fest in WalMart, or playing a video game with my perfectionist son.
If you have young children who you allow to explore outside, you will find strange animals in your home on occasion. Frogs, grasshoppers, unrealistically large black beetles, dead flies, and even extremely large slugs have made their way into my house. If I catch them before they get the animals in here, I redirect them right back to the yard they found it in. Ugh...heebie jeebies!!
Pedicures are a must. If you haven't ever had one, quit worrying about a stranger touching your feet........It's what they do! You'll be SO happy you did. And once you go spa, you'll know how to get your "ahhhhhh".
No matter what it is, if I buy food with the intent of using it for a specific reason, I need to hide it, label it, or do a Vanna White showing with a descriptive explanation as to what it's intended uses will be. Otherwise, without question, it will get eaten. Hummus....Yeah, that'll go. Pepperoni for the pizzas I'm making at the end of the week? OH, what perfect snackers!
Kids know stuff. They know when you're having a bad day, even when you do your best not to show it. They know when you're driving too fast. They know when you're hurt and when you don't feel well. What they don't know is that if you have a phone next to your ear you're on the phone. I still don't get that one.
Date night. Simply put, if you have children, or even if you don't, you need a night out occasionally. Eat and have a drink in peace. It's OKAY and it's likely well deserved. EVERY PARENT NEEDS A BREAK! It doesn't mean you're a bad parent for wanting a break...It means you're human.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. There is no question that some days will be harder than others. The thing that matters is how I get through those days. Laugh it off! Play around.....Take a picture! And know that even if a bowl of spaghetti gets on your light colored carpet, shit happens.
Don't let others bring you down. You will get judged by a number of different people who do things very differently than you. But, unless you're REALLY messing up, I mean, putting yourself or your family through the ringer, take each criticism with a grain of salt. Nobody's perfect, and your criticizers are probably the least qualified people to give you advice on how to raise your kids, clean your house, etc.....
It's okay to have a bad day.....it's a natural thing! As long as you don't take it out on your kids. Your husband can handle it, though....And, you know he's close to perfect if, when you're having a bad day, he brings you your favorite coffee.
Accept help when offered. Nobody expects to go through rough patches, but everyone does. Whether it be along the lines of housecleaning, laundry, emotions, childcare or finances, at some point, you have to be willing to give in to the offers and let someone help you out.. If they're offering at all, they see something that you might not be able to, or are unwilling to accept. However, if they're offering unsolicited advice on HOW to do something, that's a different story......
And finally, I have a husband. Sometimes amid the daily grind - In my case, kids, kids, kids and more kids, I forget about the needs of the man in my life. When I pass him heading home on MY way to town, I'm fairly certain that he thinks I'm trying to avoid him. That isn't the case - It's when I can go! But, this is why date night is so important.
Every day is a learning experience. Life happens. And, unless we learn to just go with it, it's gonna kick our butts. Remember who you were, who you are, and who you want to be.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
I'm a Glee fan, and this was so sad
I'm all too familiar with the signs of heroin abuse. Not because I ever used drugs, but, because as a young child, I saw the effects it had on my parents. I could never completely understand the struggle. I remember always asking myself "Why couldn't they stop"? "Why DIDN'T they stop"? "Don't they realize that they're bad"? But, as I got older, my understanding of addiction became a little clearer. It isn't something that is easy to control. It isn't something that people want. It certainly isn't something that people need. The desire, the need to have whatever feeling is created by the drugs pulsing through their veins overwhelms every ounce of them. And, as we've recently discovered, some hide that addiction well.....
I'm a die hard Glee fan. "Gleek," I guess, is the Hollywood term for that. From the beginning, I've found myself enthralled with the idea of a really good Glee Club, probably because, in my high school days, I lived for music. Finding out about the death of Cory Monteith, Glee's reigning heartthrob, was like a punch to the gut. Not only did the world lose someone SO relevant in the entertainment world, this young life was lost because the almighty drug won the battle. Unfortunately, this is nothing new in Hollywood. A-listers from all walks of life have gone down this forsaken path into the depths of drugs, so buried in their own intoxication that they can't enjoy the lives they've been given. Quite sad.
Now, I know that there have been several deaths of relevant performers in my time, but, it's different when you have to explain to your kids why one of their favorite TV actors has died. I was sitting on the couch, scouring the world news at midnight on Saturday when I came across the first press release about his death. I gasped and started to cry. Honestly, it just took my breath away. My first instinct? Drugs. I mean, hardly ever anymore do young actors die when there hasn't been drugs involved. But, I knew because of recent interviews as well as a recent stint in a SoCal rehab center that he had publicly struggled with his addiction. I didn't tell Katie the next morning, because I just didn't even want to talk about it. But, when she came home from work, I told her. She was about as shocked as I was. No tears, though. Just utter confusion. "Why?", she asked. I didn't want to tell her my assumption, but, she asked if that was it. The coroner confirmed Tuesday that it was in fact, heroin. Disappointment with an understanding sadness came across both me and Katie, and the mother in me was reeling from the fact that, from here on out, my child will be subjected to seeing famous people take the wrong path a lot more than she realizes.....A lot more than I hope. Still, this was so sad.
Ugh.......
If you haven't ever seen it's chaos firsthand, consider yourself lucky. The pain and suffering caused by drugs is so profound and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's a demon, and, for some, impossible to control, impossible to deny.
Here's to hoping that Glee can move on and continue to be the outstanding show that it is, helping people learn who they are, helping people to accept who they are, and helping to teach people that dreams can come true, even in the most trying of times.
I'm a die hard Glee fan. "Gleek," I guess, is the Hollywood term for that. From the beginning, I've found myself enthralled with the idea of a really good Glee Club, probably because, in my high school days, I lived for music. Finding out about the death of Cory Monteith, Glee's reigning heartthrob, was like a punch to the gut. Not only did the world lose someone SO relevant in the entertainment world, this young life was lost because the almighty drug won the battle. Unfortunately, this is nothing new in Hollywood. A-listers from all walks of life have gone down this forsaken path into the depths of drugs, so buried in their own intoxication that they can't enjoy the lives they've been given. Quite sad.
Now, I know that there have been several deaths of relevant performers in my time, but, it's different when you have to explain to your kids why one of their favorite TV actors has died. I was sitting on the couch, scouring the world news at midnight on Saturday when I came across the first press release about his death. I gasped and started to cry. Honestly, it just took my breath away. My first instinct? Drugs. I mean, hardly ever anymore do young actors die when there hasn't been drugs involved. But, I knew because of recent interviews as well as a recent stint in a SoCal rehab center that he had publicly struggled with his addiction. I didn't tell Katie the next morning, because I just didn't even want to talk about it. But, when she came home from work, I told her. She was about as shocked as I was. No tears, though. Just utter confusion. "Why?", she asked. I didn't want to tell her my assumption, but, she asked if that was it. The coroner confirmed Tuesday that it was in fact, heroin. Disappointment with an understanding sadness came across both me and Katie, and the mother in me was reeling from the fact that, from here on out, my child will be subjected to seeing famous people take the wrong path a lot more than she realizes.....A lot more than I hope. Still, this was so sad.
Ugh.......
If you haven't ever seen it's chaos firsthand, consider yourself lucky. The pain and suffering caused by drugs is so profound and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's a demon, and, for some, impossible to control, impossible to deny.
Here's to hoping that Glee can move on and continue to be the outstanding show that it is, helping people learn who they are, helping people to accept who they are, and helping to teach people that dreams can come true, even in the most trying of times.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Let's Talk About That Later!
Summer is in full swing. The kids are getting tan while spending their days outside playing, exploring and hunting (frogs and bugs, that is!). The swimming pool is up and we've spent many a day out there cooling off in this Summer heat. Although the kids don't know how to swim, yet, we're working with them to teach them some basics. They are all doing so well, and, I'm glad we have this pool....even if the upkeep is tedious!!
So, at the ages of 4 and 6, we are now working on refining our manners. Instead of saying "I want this" or "I want that," we are learning to phrase things that are respectful and appropriate. "May I please have a cookie?" sounds so much better than "I want a cookie". Mackenzie seems to think that I should be able to read her mind. Out of the blue, on many occasions, she'll come up to me, and, in an angered voice say, "I SAID I wanted a drink of water!!" She never did say such a thing, and when you argue with her she says "But, I DID say it...yesterday!!" Okay, and she probably got water yesterday, too. She's kind of a little pit, sometimes, but, when she's doing things right, and saying things nicely, she does them really, really well. So, I just encourage nicer words. We're getting there!
As with any child, we're also learning the do's and don'ts of burps and farts. This came about recently when the children just weren't paying attention anymore and were farting at the dinner table, or belching in public...basically, making bodily noises at times when they shouldn't be. After one night of a child's SBD, (silent but deadly), I couldn't take it anymore. My new rule was that, if ever anyone, adults included, needed to pass gas when we were sitting at the table, they needed to remove themselves from the table and go into another room. I'm fairly certain that my children have taken this as a joke. Every night, like clockwork, we sit down and 10 minutes in, one yells out they have to fart, and runs from the table to another room. Then, the next child. And, the next. Here we are at dinner time and I've got kids scrambling around the house trying to find an empty room to fart in. Rayla didn't really get it, and ran to the kitchen. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because, for the longest time, all I wanted was my kids to sit still at the table and eat with no distractions. They had it down!! Yet, here we are.
In recent weeks those curious body questions have begun to come out of the wood works from Cooper. A couple weeks ago he said to me "Mom, I know that babies come out of your tummy because you have to have your tummy cut, but how do babies get in there"? I didn't argue the c-section thing, because that's all he knows, and for now, all he needs to know. When it came to the latter part of that question I stammered for a bit before saying "Let's talk about that later"! Normally, we're pretty open with the kids when they ask questions, but he's not ready for that. Heck, I'M not ready for that. But, I suppose it's better that it come from me in a simple manner rather than in a classroom taught by someone who is not filtered. (There was an incident in our little town recently where a teacher allegedly went in to graphic detail about sexual situations with 4th graders.....graphic enough for the school district to invite parents to a meeting to express their concerns). So, back to us...... In short, I haven't told him how babies get there and I'm not going to for a while. At 6 that could mentally traumatize him and he would no longer see mom and dad in the same way again. I'd miss that!!
Last week, after a couple of hours playing in the pool, the kids noticed that their toes and fingers had become "pruny" just like they do during bath time. They asked why, and we explained that when your skin is wet for a while, it gets soft and wrinkly...but soon it dries and your skin is smooth and soft again. End of conversation? No. So later that night while I was putting Cooper to bed he sits up and asks "Mom, why are my balls always pruny"? Shocked, I had to turn my face and hold my laugh, because it was obvious he was quite serious. I said "Well, son, that's just the way they are."
Cooper: "But, they're always like that, even if I haven't been in the water, and you said that skin gets pruny when it gets wet!"
Me: "Balls are different son. It's stays that way to keep them protected."
Cooper: "Are Kenzie and Rayla's balls pruny, too?
Me: "They don't have balls, son. They have a vagina. They don't have a penis, either."
Cooper: "THEY DON'T?" "What about you and dad....Do you guys have balls?"
Me: "I'm a girl, so I don't have balls. But, yes, you dad does....all boys and men do!"
Cooper: "Are they pruny just like mine!?!?!"
At this point I shook my head, laughed and told him he needed to go to sleep. In all the conversations that I imagined having with my son, this was not one of them. But at least he knows I don't have balls.....At least, not in a physical way!
When is the right time to tell your kids about this stuff? I remember having this question when I contemplated telling Katie a few years back. I'm glad I told her what I did when I did, because the stuff she could access today could easily cloud judgment of what is right and wrong. In the meantime, I'll just continue to teach manners, body parts and, in time, functions.
Oh, boy.
So, at the ages of 4 and 6, we are now working on refining our manners. Instead of saying "I want this" or "I want that," we are learning to phrase things that are respectful and appropriate. "May I please have a cookie?" sounds so much better than "I want a cookie". Mackenzie seems to think that I should be able to read her mind. Out of the blue, on many occasions, she'll come up to me, and, in an angered voice say, "I SAID I wanted a drink of water!!" She never did say such a thing, and when you argue with her she says "But, I DID say it...yesterday!!" Okay, and she probably got water yesterday, too. She's kind of a little pit, sometimes, but, when she's doing things right, and saying things nicely, she does them really, really well. So, I just encourage nicer words. We're getting there!
As with any child, we're also learning the do's and don'ts of burps and farts. This came about recently when the children just weren't paying attention anymore and were farting at the dinner table, or belching in public...basically, making bodily noises at times when they shouldn't be. After one night of a child's SBD, (silent but deadly), I couldn't take it anymore. My new rule was that, if ever anyone, adults included, needed to pass gas when we were sitting at the table, they needed to remove themselves from the table and go into another room. I'm fairly certain that my children have taken this as a joke. Every night, like clockwork, we sit down and 10 minutes in, one yells out they have to fart, and runs from the table to another room. Then, the next child. And, the next. Here we are at dinner time and I've got kids scrambling around the house trying to find an empty room to fart in. Rayla didn't really get it, and ran to the kitchen. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because, for the longest time, all I wanted was my kids to sit still at the table and eat with no distractions. They had it down!! Yet, here we are.
In recent weeks those curious body questions have begun to come out of the wood works from Cooper. A couple weeks ago he said to me "Mom, I know that babies come out of your tummy because you have to have your tummy cut, but how do babies get in there"? I didn't argue the c-section thing, because that's all he knows, and for now, all he needs to know. When it came to the latter part of that question I stammered for a bit before saying "Let's talk about that later"! Normally, we're pretty open with the kids when they ask questions, but he's not ready for that. Heck, I'M not ready for that. But, I suppose it's better that it come from me in a simple manner rather than in a classroom taught by someone who is not filtered. (There was an incident in our little town recently where a teacher allegedly went in to graphic detail about sexual situations with 4th graders.....graphic enough for the school district to invite parents to a meeting to express their concerns). So, back to us...... In short, I haven't told him how babies get there and I'm not going to for a while. At 6 that could mentally traumatize him and he would no longer see mom and dad in the same way again. I'd miss that!!
Last week, after a couple of hours playing in the pool, the kids noticed that their toes and fingers had become "pruny" just like they do during bath time. They asked why, and we explained that when your skin is wet for a while, it gets soft and wrinkly...but soon it dries and your skin is smooth and soft again. End of conversation? No. So later that night while I was putting Cooper to bed he sits up and asks "Mom, why are my balls always pruny"? Shocked, I had to turn my face and hold my laugh, because it was obvious he was quite serious. I said "Well, son, that's just the way they are."
Cooper: "But, they're always like that, even if I haven't been in the water, and you said that skin gets pruny when it gets wet!"
Me: "Balls are different son. It's stays that way to keep them protected."
Cooper: "Are Kenzie and Rayla's balls pruny, too?
Me: "They don't have balls, son. They have a vagina. They don't have a penis, either."
Cooper: "THEY DON'T?" "What about you and dad....Do you guys have balls?"
Me: "I'm a girl, so I don't have balls. But, yes, you dad does....all boys and men do!"
Cooper: "Are they pruny just like mine!?!?!"
At this point I shook my head, laughed and told him he needed to go to sleep. In all the conversations that I imagined having with my son, this was not one of them. But at least he knows I don't have balls.....At least, not in a physical way!
When is the right time to tell your kids about this stuff? I remember having this question when I contemplated telling Katie a few years back. I'm glad I told her what I did when I did, because the stuff she could access today could easily cloud judgment of what is right and wrong. In the meantime, I'll just continue to teach manners, body parts and, in time, functions.
Oh, boy.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
You Get What You Get And You Don't Throw A Fit!!
Doing childcare in my home is not something that I'm going to do forever. I love kids, don't get me wrong. But, for now, so that I can be home with my children and still make a little money, child caring is how I spend my days, and I'm really blessed to have a group of absolutely wonderful kids. At the present time I have all three of my younger children, a sibling set ages 4 and 5, and a 1 year old. That's 6 children between 1 and 6. That's a lot of kids!! But, when it comes down to it, once you've had as many kids as I've had, another two, or three, is nothing. Sure, they all keep me busy, but, they keep each other busy, too. which allows time for me to do laundry, etc....
One of the most challenging things I have had to deal with is the feeding aspect of the childcare. My children are not real picky eaters, but, occasionally they decided they don't like something. Some days they like pickles, and the one day I put it on their plate without them asking for it is the day they don't like it. Rayla appears to be allergic to more and more things....For the past two days Rayla has developed an itchy throat while eating cinnamon toast crunch, her favorite cereal. Anyways, too much dairy for her and her tummy hurts and she gets gassy. (Isn't that lactose intolerance?) She only drinks almond milk, and I've changed her to Greek yogurt because she can still handle that for some reason. Lots of fruit, as many vegetables as I can convince her to eat, and meat...the kid loves meat. In fact, all of my children love meat. One of the children that I care for will not eat meat. Her family does not practice a vegan lifestyle, and they don't know where this particular preference came from, but she just doesn't seem to like meat. ANY meat. She won't even try it! At first, I was frustrated because I wanted to make sure that she was eating something for lunch, so I made her something special for each meal. After addressing this concern after the first week with their mother, she explained that, because of her daughter's unusual eating habits that sometimes she just went hungry. They have a motto at their house that they go by: "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I like it. At first I tried to cater to her needs, but I was making stuff, like cold butter and cheese sandwiches, at her request, that ended up nothing like her grandma, mother, father or grandpa made it. So, then I tried it........... You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And IT WORKS! She usually eats now, or at least tries something. Or, if I make something like mac and cheese with hot dogs, I just leave the dogs off her plate. You'd think that it would have been that simple for me in the beginning. But, everything is a learning process when it comes to children. There is never a rhyme or reason for their thoughts or their actions, and it's my job, both as a parent and a caregiver, to help them understand how to harness their desires and help them understand that this is not a restaurant....our new motto, although borrowed, is such a simple thing. And, I love that my own kids understand it, too! We've had less special requests from my own kids since instilling this new motto, and that makes meal prep a breeze for me!
Katie is working now. I worried that she wouldn't fit in (functionally, that is) because she's never done anything along the lines of hard, repetitive labor for long hours. But, it appears she is doing just fine! She's working on the cherry line this year for the family farm. She gets to do box prep and sorting of the cherries, something she's never done before! And, since most of the people who are working the line speak little English, she's getting immersed in Spanish, which is the best way to learn it!! She arrived home yesterday hot, sweaty, but really content with a full day's work. As a mother who knows that hard work pays off in more ways than one, I was so proud. But, even more so, I was happy that she was happy about going back today. But, I think we need to get a better morning schedule going. She needs to be able to make her own lunch to take and not depend on mom to get her ready for work! I gave her two days......she gets tomorrow! Hopefully, she gets up early enough to get that lunch ready, and that she likes it enough that she actually eats it, or she'll be one hungry girl!! (Whether you agree or not, I think this makes me a good mom....instilling good responsibility in my child, that is!)
So whether they are small and innocent, or grown and heading into the world, getting fed is still an important part of what I oversee. And, that new motto I've hijacked is about perfect for my family as it could be. I make it you eat it......or you don't!!
One of the most challenging things I have had to deal with is the feeding aspect of the childcare. My children are not real picky eaters, but, occasionally they decided they don't like something. Some days they like pickles, and the one day I put it on their plate without them asking for it is the day they don't like it. Rayla appears to be allergic to more and more things....For the past two days Rayla has developed an itchy throat while eating cinnamon toast crunch, her favorite cereal. Anyways, too much dairy for her and her tummy hurts and she gets gassy. (Isn't that lactose intolerance?) She only drinks almond milk, and I've changed her to Greek yogurt because she can still handle that for some reason. Lots of fruit, as many vegetables as I can convince her to eat, and meat...the kid loves meat. In fact, all of my children love meat. One of the children that I care for will not eat meat. Her family does not practice a vegan lifestyle, and they don't know where this particular preference came from, but she just doesn't seem to like meat. ANY meat. She won't even try it! At first, I was frustrated because I wanted to make sure that she was eating something for lunch, so I made her something special for each meal. After addressing this concern after the first week with their mother, she explained that, because of her daughter's unusual eating habits that sometimes she just went hungry. They have a motto at their house that they go by: "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I like it. At first I tried to cater to her needs, but I was making stuff, like cold butter and cheese sandwiches, at her request, that ended up nothing like her grandma, mother, father or grandpa made it. So, then I tried it........... You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And IT WORKS! She usually eats now, or at least tries something. Or, if I make something like mac and cheese with hot dogs, I just leave the dogs off her plate. You'd think that it would have been that simple for me in the beginning. But, everything is a learning process when it comes to children. There is never a rhyme or reason for their thoughts or their actions, and it's my job, both as a parent and a caregiver, to help them understand how to harness their desires and help them understand that this is not a restaurant....our new motto, although borrowed, is such a simple thing. And, I love that my own kids understand it, too! We've had less special requests from my own kids since instilling this new motto, and that makes meal prep a breeze for me!
Katie is working now. I worried that she wouldn't fit in (functionally, that is) because she's never done anything along the lines of hard, repetitive labor for long hours. But, it appears she is doing just fine! She's working on the cherry line this year for the family farm. She gets to do box prep and sorting of the cherries, something she's never done before! And, since most of the people who are working the line speak little English, she's getting immersed in Spanish, which is the best way to learn it!! She arrived home yesterday hot, sweaty, but really content with a full day's work. As a mother who knows that hard work pays off in more ways than one, I was so proud. But, even more so, I was happy that she was happy about going back today. But, I think we need to get a better morning schedule going. She needs to be able to make her own lunch to take and not depend on mom to get her ready for work! I gave her two days......she gets tomorrow! Hopefully, she gets up early enough to get that lunch ready, and that she likes it enough that she actually eats it, or she'll be one hungry girl!! (Whether you agree or not, I think this makes me a good mom....instilling good responsibility in my child, that is!)
So whether they are small and innocent, or grown and heading into the world, getting fed is still an important part of what I oversee. And, that new motto I've hijacked is about perfect for my family as it could be. I make it you eat it......or you don't!!
Monday, June 10, 2013
One Long Weekend
As if I haven't learned this time and time again when it comes to the sun, spray, apply, repeat....You'd think that after watching over my children and making sure they are buttered up continuously with sunblock that I'd take the time to keep an eye on myself. Nope. So, while reconstructing our yard this yesterday, I completely forgot the task of reapplying the lotion after the first application on me. Fast forward several hours later, with nearly all that time spent in direct sun, and my back and shoulders look as though I've been spray painted red. It's sore, but, surprisingly not bad. Days like these make me wish I could just go bra-less. Not possible with the goods I've been given...But, the idea is nice!
Our weekend was long and eventful. It began Thursday night with a family dinner to kickoff a celebratory weekend for some elder Yasui's who had passed on in recent years out of state, but wanted to have a final resting place in Hood River. It appears that there was a little bit of a misunderstanding on my part about the events, however...and I wasn't the only one! It was our (immediate family here) thought that Friday morning was going to be a gathering at the park for a fun time with the families that traveled from afar to attend the gatherings. It was at a park, and I was informed that there would be music, singing, etc...... What I didn't know was that it was an actual memorial service and that eulogies were to be delivered and memories of the deceased were to be shared....oh, boy! Well, trying to get my kids to sit through a memorial service is like telling them to go to sleep on a roller coaster. They were restless, anxious and slightly confused at all the people talking and crying. No surprise there. But, so that I could enjoy it, what does this mother do? I give my son my phone so that he can play angry birds. I made sure that the volume was down so as not to disturb the ceremony taking place. Two minutes in to him playing, silently I might add, the phone begins to blare this rock music with screeching birds. OH. MY. LORD!!! My face surely lost all color, as did my son's. I grabbed it from him and fumbled to shut it down as quickly as I could. How could this happen??!! I was sure I had turned the volume down! As I painfully discovered that day there is a volume control for media activities within the actual phone volume, and it was turned up to the max. I SHOULD have known this, but, the phone is still fairly new, and I don't play a lot of games on it! Needless to say, the morning did not go as I had expected.
Fast forward through the rest of the weekend and it was a wonderful time with family, young and old....and the memories shared (and made) were beautiful.
On Saturday, when the gatherings had quieted, Corey and I decided to take the kids fishing. Cooper went a couple of years ago, but the girls have never gone. We went to a little reservoir up toward one of the local lakes. Beautiful, warm evening..it was perfect. It took the children a while to "get in to" the whole fishing thing. There were flies to be chased, birds to be watched and rocks to be thrown. But, when Rayla's pole began to wiggle a little, she dove in like pro! She reeled and reeled as hard as she could, fishing line bouncing and all, to catch her first fish....all by herself! She was so proud of herself, and we, and the the other kids were proud of her, too! She had no fear...she grabbed that trout when it came to shore and proudly showed off her trophy catch. All 11 inches of it! She was the only successful catcher that day. We brought him home and the kids watched while Corey cleaned it. I wasn't sure how they'd handle it and wondered if they'd be traumatized by the removal of a fish head. Not my kids. They watched with an intensity that I have never seen before, especially Rayla. She wanted to be part of every step of what was to be done with her fish. We decided we would cook it yesterday at dinner time for her to eat if she liked. I cooked it and plated it special just for her. She was ready to eat it.....She took a bite, smiled and said "Best fish EVER!!" Then, she offered up the rest to her siblings!! It wasn't that good, but I don't think it was because of the cook. Still, despite not liking how it tasted, they all are ready to gear up and head out to do some more fishing. This makes their daddy a pretty happy man!
It's Monday and though life has returned to normal again, the hectic bustle of the children in the morning is heavenly, and the routine is back on for the day. Only two more days, actually....the kids are out of school on Wednesday and the Summer Vacation begins!!......For them, at least!!
Our weekend was long and eventful. It began Thursday night with a family dinner to kickoff a celebratory weekend for some elder Yasui's who had passed on in recent years out of state, but wanted to have a final resting place in Hood River. It appears that there was a little bit of a misunderstanding on my part about the events, however...and I wasn't the only one! It was our (immediate family here) thought that Friday morning was going to be a gathering at the park for a fun time with the families that traveled from afar to attend the gatherings. It was at a park, and I was informed that there would be music, singing, etc...... What I didn't know was that it was an actual memorial service and that eulogies were to be delivered and memories of the deceased were to be shared....oh, boy! Well, trying to get my kids to sit through a memorial service is like telling them to go to sleep on a roller coaster. They were restless, anxious and slightly confused at all the people talking and crying. No surprise there. But, so that I could enjoy it, what does this mother do? I give my son my phone so that he can play angry birds. I made sure that the volume was down so as not to disturb the ceremony taking place. Two minutes in to him playing, silently I might add, the phone begins to blare this rock music with screeching birds. OH. MY. LORD!!! My face surely lost all color, as did my son's. I grabbed it from him and fumbled to shut it down as quickly as I could. How could this happen??!! I was sure I had turned the volume down! As I painfully discovered that day there is a volume control for media activities within the actual phone volume, and it was turned up to the max. I SHOULD have known this, but, the phone is still fairly new, and I don't play a lot of games on it! Needless to say, the morning did not go as I had expected.
Fast forward through the rest of the weekend and it was a wonderful time with family, young and old....and the memories shared (and made) were beautiful.
On Saturday, when the gatherings had quieted, Corey and I decided to take the kids fishing. Cooper went a couple of years ago, but the girls have never gone. We went to a little reservoir up toward one of the local lakes. Beautiful, warm evening..it was perfect. It took the children a while to "get in to" the whole fishing thing. There were flies to be chased, birds to be watched and rocks to be thrown. But, when Rayla's pole began to wiggle a little, she dove in like pro! She reeled and reeled as hard as she could, fishing line bouncing and all, to catch her first fish....all by herself! She was so proud of herself, and we, and the the other kids were proud of her, too! She had no fear...she grabbed that trout when it came to shore and proudly showed off her trophy catch. All 11 inches of it! She was the only successful catcher that day. We brought him home and the kids watched while Corey cleaned it. I wasn't sure how they'd handle it and wondered if they'd be traumatized by the removal of a fish head. Not my kids. They watched with an intensity that I have never seen before, especially Rayla. She wanted to be part of every step of what was to be done with her fish. We decided we would cook it yesterday at dinner time for her to eat if she liked. I cooked it and plated it special just for her. She was ready to eat it.....She took a bite, smiled and said "Best fish EVER!!" Then, she offered up the rest to her siblings!! It wasn't that good, but I don't think it was because of the cook. Still, despite not liking how it tasted, they all are ready to gear up and head out to do some more fishing. This makes their daddy a pretty happy man!
It's Monday and though life has returned to normal again, the hectic bustle of the children in the morning is heavenly, and the routine is back on for the day. Only two more days, actually....the kids are out of school on Wednesday and the Summer Vacation begins!!......For them, at least!!
Monday, May 20, 2013
I Didn't Hear You Right
Father's day is coming up, or so I've been told....a time or two. I still struggle with the yearly battle of what to get my husband for Father's Day. I struggle with every other holiday, too, to be honest. More often than not, he will tell me what he wants, then, either before I've had a chance to save up and get him what he wants, or after I've already purchased it, Corey gets that itch that won't go away and ends up getting it himself. I can't even count on one hand how many times that has happened. Or, and I love this one, we'll have a conversation about something and I get a "hint" of something that he might like and stash it in my memory bank for future holidays. Somehow, I usually get the hints wrong. For instance, for his birthday, I purchased him a mandolin. I bought it months ahead of his birthday with pride, thinking that he'd think this was such a cool gift. I could have sworn that sometime in the past year we had discussed different instruments that he'd like, and a mandolin was one of them. Well, he opened it up and said "Huh. A mandolin. I've never even thought about one of these! Where'd you get that idea, Cara?" Haha....Funny. Really, really funny. Well, it was funny....apparently that conversation we had included some electric guitar that I still couldn't identify if my life depended on it and MAYBE a banjo....but, maybe not even that!! Oh, silly me. Well, although he said that he would be happy to learn to play it, I told him that I would promptly return it and he could pick out whatever he wanted to whether it be an instrument or just money put into the savings pot for his dream golf clubs. It turns out that I didn't read the small print from the site I ordered it from. NO RETURNS. Well, shit. Fortunately, I'm a Facebook junkie and I'm associated with a page on there for a local "online yard sale". It sold in less than a day. He got the cash present and I still have no idea what I got him for his birthday....
Father's day should be interesting.....
Father's day should be interesting.....
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
They'll Be Fine......I Turned Out Pretty Good
The past few months have been rough. Not bad rough, but kid rough. The twins are coming into their own little persons and have quite different personalities. Cooper is, well, Cooper....just older. And Katie.....Oh, Lord, where to start.
Having four year old twins is crazier than something out of a Yo Gabba Gabba show. No matter how much you enjoy it, or not, the creative differences in each of them is so outlandish sometimes that you can't believe they're twins. Mackenzie is a genius. No, I'm serious. Her math skills are stupid. She reads, she writes, she can count, she can spell and the kid can tell time. SHE'S FOUR! But, the downside of having a genius four year old is that she's overly emotional, she argues EVERYTHING and she thinks she's always right. (wonder where she gets that.) My little bundle of twinkie joy has grown from a crooked headed little smiley delight, to a kid wonder, and I love her.
I have only one word to describe what Rayla has become; Passionate. That child is passionate about everything. Now, this is good, and this is bad. On the upside when she is positively passionate about something it's one of the cutest and most endearing things I encounter. She gets involved in what she's reading, listening to or watching. She analyzes everything and makes her own creative stories or endings to whatever she has dived into. The down side to a passionate person is when that passion comes out in anger, frustration or orneriness. In trouble? You'd think we're nailing her to the floor. Mad at her sister or brother? You'd think they had beat her in the head with a pan. Upset that she can't do something right? Oh, boy.....That takes patience, and I'll be honest with you, I almost lost it a few times. But, she is growing and learning and her passion is a trait that is going to serve her well in her life. And, for those of you who have followed her health issues I can update that, too: Her asthma had gotten so bad that her albuterol inhaler just wasn't enough anymore. She is now on a daily steroid inhaler and, although it wouldn't have been my first choice, she's so much better now. She breathes. She sleeps. And, so do I........
Cooper has had a rough go in Kindergarten. He's been in trouble a few times, mostly for being distracting in class. When the teacher is talking he seems to drift his eyes away from her and focus on something completely unrelated to what he's being taught. But, when asked to repeat what the teacher had said, not thinking he'd be able to do it, he'll recite back what was taught almost word for word. Of course, when he gets distracted with something, it becomes a domino effect, taking down any suspecting children who follow in his footsteps, because, in all reality, most kids will NOT be able to remember what they're being told while looking at something else. So, that, on top of a couple of NON malicious acts of naughtiness, and he's been labeled already. Now, as a mother who is very on top of things in general when it comes to my kids, I see a Kindergartner who is testing boundaries, using creative outlets to get attention and maybe even suffering from a little boredom when it comes to the end of his school day. I never would have thought he would get labeled, and it's a little frustrating that he has been - He's wonderful at home, so it was quite a surprise to get the calls. At the same time, I suppose that his desire to be class clown has been pushed too far, and the teachers have to put their feet down before it gets out of hand. I KNOW kids can be ornery, even naughty. But he's smart, does his work, is loving, helpful and has such a great personality. Cooper has made a turn around and is making efforts not to be so distracting, and we're so proud of him. I never told my husband this, but in Kindergarten I got so mad at my teacher for making me sit with my head down so much that I got up, walked out of the classroom and headed out of the school to go home. The principal saw me at the front door and stopped me. My mom got called and I got in a little more trouble that I would have had I just chilled out. I still turned out pretty good.
He turns 6 next week.
Finally 15, Katie is now old enough to learn how to drive. Unfortunately for her, fortunately for us, her grades aren't good enough for us to allow that luxury just yet. I am confident in my belief that Katie just thought her work would do itself, turn itself in, and it would all be 100% correct. This last report card made it obvious to her that it takes a lot more than wishful thinking to make a good grade happen. She seems a little more focused this past week. As much as I want to say that it's because she's come to a revelation, I do think that some of it has to do with the fact that at conferences last week some of her teachers showed me some secrets to help me keep a closer eye on work that's due that makes it so she CAN'T miss anything. Ever. Teenagers are, for lack of a better word, dumb. Don't dog on me just yet......You all know you wanna say it. I believe this because I was one once, too. They think they know everything and their parents know nothing. They think that their way is right and parents are too controlling. They think that when we take away their electronics their lives are over. Ugh......that's a whole blog in itself. Anyways, as immature as teens are in most decisions they make, I've discovered that they surely aren't stupid. Meaning, they know right from wrong - Katie still makes choices sometimes that makes me wonder what's going on in that head of hers. And that makes for some interesting conversations in this house.
What have I learned the past few months?
1. I know all about my daughter. Yet, I probably know nothing.
2. 50/50 are decent odds. Unless it's a chance you're taking that could turn out really bad. Then your chances of bad things happening increases ten fold.
3. I never anticipated my children finding other ways to say "I forgot" or "I never heard you say that" once I banned those phrases from our house.
4. No shoes in the house, (kids) has been a rule in my house for years. They actually think I'm stupid enough not to notice when they are clomping mud through the house or flopping on the couch with their shoes on.
5. Speaking of shoes, I've decided that when my children decide to take their shoes off, they place them with the sole intent of seeing if I can fall on them. They usually succeed...Must be my punishment for making them take their shoes off.
6.Morning breath happens to everyone. But, when my children come in my bed, crowd me in, then tell ME to roll over because my breath smells bad is just not fair. But because I love them, I do it.
......................Or I breathe hard on them and scare em' back to their own rooms. Depends on how I feel.
So, enjoy your children, learn from their curiosity, and hope that whatever you say, do and teach to them will sink in and that eventually they'll know that whatever you've done was always in their best interest.
Having four year old twins is crazier than something out of a Yo Gabba Gabba show. No matter how much you enjoy it, or not, the creative differences in each of them is so outlandish sometimes that you can't believe they're twins. Mackenzie is a genius. No, I'm serious. Her math skills are stupid. She reads, she writes, she can count, she can spell and the kid can tell time. SHE'S FOUR! But, the downside of having a genius four year old is that she's overly emotional, she argues EVERYTHING and she thinks she's always right. (wonder where she gets that.) My little bundle of twinkie joy has grown from a crooked headed little smiley delight, to a kid wonder, and I love her.
I have only one word to describe what Rayla has become; Passionate. That child is passionate about everything. Now, this is good, and this is bad. On the upside when she is positively passionate about something it's one of the cutest and most endearing things I encounter. She gets involved in what she's reading, listening to or watching. She analyzes everything and makes her own creative stories or endings to whatever she has dived into. The down side to a passionate person is when that passion comes out in anger, frustration or orneriness. In trouble? You'd think we're nailing her to the floor. Mad at her sister or brother? You'd think they had beat her in the head with a pan. Upset that she can't do something right? Oh, boy.....That takes patience, and I'll be honest with you, I almost lost it a few times. But, she is growing and learning and her passion is a trait that is going to serve her well in her life. And, for those of you who have followed her health issues I can update that, too: Her asthma had gotten so bad that her albuterol inhaler just wasn't enough anymore. She is now on a daily steroid inhaler and, although it wouldn't have been my first choice, she's so much better now. She breathes. She sleeps. And, so do I........
Cooper has had a rough go in Kindergarten. He's been in trouble a few times, mostly for being distracting in class. When the teacher is talking he seems to drift his eyes away from her and focus on something completely unrelated to what he's being taught. But, when asked to repeat what the teacher had said, not thinking he'd be able to do it, he'll recite back what was taught almost word for word. Of course, when he gets distracted with something, it becomes a domino effect, taking down any suspecting children who follow in his footsteps, because, in all reality, most kids will NOT be able to remember what they're being told while looking at something else. So, that, on top of a couple of NON malicious acts of naughtiness, and he's been labeled already. Now, as a mother who is very on top of things in general when it comes to my kids, I see a Kindergartner who is testing boundaries, using creative outlets to get attention and maybe even suffering from a little boredom when it comes to the end of his school day. I never would have thought he would get labeled, and it's a little frustrating that he has been - He's wonderful at home, so it was quite a surprise to get the calls. At the same time, I suppose that his desire to be class clown has been pushed too far, and the teachers have to put their feet down before it gets out of hand. I KNOW kids can be ornery, even naughty. But he's smart, does his work, is loving, helpful and has such a great personality. Cooper has made a turn around and is making efforts not to be so distracting, and we're so proud of him. I never told my husband this, but in Kindergarten I got so mad at my teacher for making me sit with my head down so much that I got up, walked out of the classroom and headed out of the school to go home. The principal saw me at the front door and stopped me. My mom got called and I got in a little more trouble that I would have had I just chilled out. I still turned out pretty good.
He turns 6 next week.
Finally 15, Katie is now old enough to learn how to drive. Unfortunately for her, fortunately for us, her grades aren't good enough for us to allow that luxury just yet. I am confident in my belief that Katie just thought her work would do itself, turn itself in, and it would all be 100% correct. This last report card made it obvious to her that it takes a lot more than wishful thinking to make a good grade happen. She seems a little more focused this past week. As much as I want to say that it's because she's come to a revelation, I do think that some of it has to do with the fact that at conferences last week some of her teachers showed me some secrets to help me keep a closer eye on work that's due that makes it so she CAN'T miss anything. Ever. Teenagers are, for lack of a better word, dumb. Don't dog on me just yet......You all know you wanna say it. I believe this because I was one once, too. They think they know everything and their parents know nothing. They think that their way is right and parents are too controlling. They think that when we take away their electronics their lives are over. Ugh......that's a whole blog in itself. Anyways, as immature as teens are in most decisions they make, I've discovered that they surely aren't stupid. Meaning, they know right from wrong - Katie still makes choices sometimes that makes me wonder what's going on in that head of hers. And that makes for some interesting conversations in this house.
What have I learned the past few months?
1. I know all about my daughter. Yet, I probably know nothing.
2. 50/50 are decent odds. Unless it's a chance you're taking that could turn out really bad. Then your chances of bad things happening increases ten fold.
3. I never anticipated my children finding other ways to say "I forgot" or "I never heard you say that" once I banned those phrases from our house.
4. No shoes in the house, (kids) has been a rule in my house for years. They actually think I'm stupid enough not to notice when they are clomping mud through the house or flopping on the couch with their shoes on.
5. Speaking of shoes, I've decided that when my children decide to take their shoes off, they place them with the sole intent of seeing if I can fall on them. They usually succeed...Must be my punishment for making them take their shoes off.
6.Morning breath happens to everyone. But, when my children come in my bed, crowd me in, then tell ME to roll over because my breath smells bad is just not fair. But because I love them, I do it.
......................Or I breathe hard on them and scare em' back to their own rooms. Depends on how I feel.
So, enjoy your children, learn from their curiosity, and hope that whatever you say, do and teach to them will sink in and that eventually they'll know that whatever you've done was always in their best interest.
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